she has only said that she is normal, that there isn't anything wrong with her, that i live in a fantasy world, that thngs change, that sex isn't important anymore.
she is in very good health; no major problems. we/she thought that she may be peri-meopausal, but nothing was ever done about it. years ago, when i did complain openly and more often, she did say something about her lack of libido to her gynocologist and she wanted to put he on some anti-depressant pill, or something like that, and then she brought it up to another gyno in her practice,and he told her to just do it--like michelle says. she never followed his advice. i know that's all she needs to do, yet won't. i think and have told her that it's a power-play, that if she gives in to my sexual needs on a regular basis, then she will feel that she now loses her position as the "boss", making her feel weak. i know that her libido is dormant, that something needs to jump start it, but she won't do anything about it, nor try, nor listen to my angst and frustration, and needs. almost everytime after she has an orgasm, after finally getting her to have sex and it turns out explosive, she usually says, "i don't know why i never want to do this! there can't be many women having orgasms like this!" do you know how crazy i get when i hear this?! she doesn't have any problem having an orgasm, and once i finally get her started, it's usually very good-sometimes incredible going for 30-40 mins. maybe without intercourse, and she puts up these obstacles: didn't get enough sleep last night; kids pissed her off; thinking about work; just thinking about everything in general, yet not thinking about sex but everything else.
i don't think that she's angry at me. her mother died last year, and she took out all of her anger on me saying that she felt she couldn't talk to me because she felt that i wasn't there for her---which is a load of crap, because i am never anywhere else but by her side--and that's how she wants it. she always wants to do everything with me--except when she's pmsing. i even told her not to take a year off from work, because that's what she wanted to do after the loss, because of financial and emotional reasons, but she wouldn't listen, so i went out and took 2 other part-time jobs to fill in the financial gap--and still she never threw me a bone once in a while.
maybe i am too nice. i often say to myself that i am being taking for granted, that i need to do other things without her, that i need to go elsewhere with friends and show her that i am not a prisoner, but as i said to my friends, who are also in the same boat, that i have lost my way. i want to go back to the time when sex wasn't important, that just being with her was good enough, and i don't know what happened, how i have become obsessed with this anxiety. i say it's because in the beginning of our relationship, if we didn't have sex one night, i knew it was going to happen either the next day or soon after, that she also wanted me as much as i wanted her. now the problem is that i still want her as much as i did when we started dating, and she doesn't, and i no longer when i am going to have sex again, creating all of this angst, and frustration.
