You locked the thread. It had been going a long time. I am happy to hear that you have found a way to be at peace with your situation. I know that it is very hard for you. But small improvements do mean a lot. Just being able to have a pleasant Christmas with your wife's family is an enormous breakthrough. I hope that they will continue to be civil to you.
I am going to go to the other thread and pull some particularly good posts and bring them here, so that we can continue this subject.
