Still hopeful for some pleasant surprises

[SirPrizeMe]

Hey Mako,
lonely is as lonely does, I guess. I try to keep busy.

Interesting conv tonight. I called the stbxW of the OM. Ok, get this straight, my W had an affair with my best friend, the families were friends. So of course I know the man's wife. In fact she is the one who told me about our respective spouses and their "thing".

Back in January my W asked me to stop talking to the OM's wife. Wanting to reconcile and honor her wishes, I did. But now that papers are filed, I figured that committment is null and void. So I called her up. We played phone tag a while. finally spoke w/her tonight.

My W and OM are still hot for each other apparently. in the past, W told me repeatedly "he is not the man for me" in the past and sort of minimized the affair as something that was over, something that did not affect our marriage, in fact it was a symptom, not a direct cause of anything, and anyway a minor footnote in our marriage (the main theme being, of course, my chronic abuse of W)....

Chalk this up to "believe none of what they say...." . The OM's stbxw told me that they still see each other regularly, exchange email with all sorts of lovey talk "I'm so hot for you" etc etc.

Lovely.

I also learned that the OM is dating other people, in addition to my wife. I do not think my wife is aware of this, or maybe she is, and she is too phreaked in the head to even care. Maybe she likes the idea.

So where am I now?

• I learned that I am willing to believe the best, even when the much more likely scenario (the affair is still happening) is staring me in the face.
• I realize that my wife pecking me on the cheek on christmas was .... not what I thought it was.
• I resolve to get with an attorney and move the divorce negotiations onward a little more aggressively.