I don't think he would ever admit that he was checking me out.
Before his affair and all this craziness started , he did give me compliments and let me know when i looked nice. Now since I have never been more confident(most of the time) lost over 50lbs and fit into nicer sexier clothing, he says nothing. Even when he hears other people giving me compliments????
I don't get it.
If I was to sit him down and ask him, I don't know if he would give me a straight answer.
Before you felt the guilt and the affair was over did you compliment your wife?
What is stopping him?
I would just like to hear " that looks good on you", You look good since you lost weight.
If I tell him I've lost some more weight he says "good" But I basically have to yank it out of him
Hmmm ????? What's the point?
E
Well, good for you. I always complimented my W. In fact, during the A, I wanted so desperately to come home, but for my own selfish reasons I was wrapped up in myself. When she found out about the A, she said that she had her ah-hah moment when I said all my requests to go to counseling were ignored. I justified my time away by taking care of myself. WRONG ANSWER. However, we never fought together and if we both believe in DBing, then we need to fight. Our children deserve better. I have bought so much jewelry and all the nice things she has ever wanted (iPOD, every scrapping item, Bon Jovi tickets 10 rows from stage, etc). But as I said, the gifts I passed on and the words I gave were not what she needed, wants.
I know EXACTLY what you feel. I would go get a haircut and come home and she would never say boo. I always complimented her, and continue to do so, on everything. We just cant seem to communicate. When she was fighting she would openly acknowledge this. I know I shut her down. Some times I loath myself and get frustrated because I have been saying in plane english what I need. I never expected her to sleep with me for awhile. We never connected physically much for different reasons. Turns out we both wanted the same thing but that english thing got in the way again. My point is that when I fight I fight and it is not passive agressive or by attrition. I want to talk and say this is what I am doing. That is what I mean about the Venus/Mars thing. I am NOT, nor are most men, a mind reader. I am not good at that. To expect us to be is a cheeseless tunnel. I can readily admit that I cant read your mind, why should I be expected to? It is a weakness that I need to figure out how to overcome to know what is/did work(ing).
Help! I love my wife and my family and I want to make it work.
