Be there for her but not on top of her...let her breathe.
Give her her space...but be concerned for her.
Give her broad shoulders and confidence, but not too cocky.
Give her reasurances but not overly big and dramatic. Sometimes smaller is better.
Have patience, she has to walk her own journey in her own time.
Walk beside her, not over her,behind her or running around her.
She will see that you have the confidence to be there for her without being too clingy.
I have a question, and this has really ben puzzling me,my H has been going throug MLC for awhile, just your opinion, why doesn't he ever give me a compliment and yet I catch him looking and cHecking me out?
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Thank you for responding. I will think on your suggestions. I need all the help I can get. I am confident in my professional life, but not cocky. My relationship with my father is partly the reason for my insecurity, I was the oldest and the only boy and it was his way or the highway. So, because I was always, ALWAYS told right or wrong I need constant feedback. I have learned to concur this in my pro life, and in every relationship I ever had before marriage my emotional side was my greatest asset. I proposed in central park on a knee, cried at my wedding and during the birth of our children. As I have matured and learned through this process I am sure I missed the signs from W, but the bottom line is we both know we need to work on commo. Now that the walls are up, I have no clue and feel like I am not leading my own life.
As for your H, that is a tough one. I used to, as recently as 2 months ago, oogle at W and make sassy comments about her, but I ALWAYS was very praising of her as a mom and W. What I failed to do was stop going down cheeseless tunnels. her love language is not words of affirmation, but quality time. But, for me I have this compulsion to think out loud and talk through things. I learned in reading the Covenant Marriage, a great Gary Chapman book, that I was starved for emotional and intellectual intimacy.
Do you feel your H objectifies you? He may feel a change in his sexual capability and in checking you out he may be looking for you to reciprocate and show you find him appealing? Another lesson for me, men really are from mars and women from venus. Men are not good at riddles and we tend to be simple minded. In action, not thought! What compliments are you looking for from him? I ask because I am sure you know what you would like for him to recognize and acknowledge with you. In learning from my own experience, I would tell you if you want me to know, hit me over the head outloud, not nastily, but just sit me down and say, "you know I love that you check me out, but I just want to know if you notice or think of me for anything else.....what will help me help you is if I knew you noticed the other things I do...." Again, only my opinion, but for me, if you could not make it a big deal (try to laugh at yourselves to destress the sit) and let him know that you appreciate his attraction to you, you just need more in this area.....Do you think he would respond?
I wish my W would ever look at me or compliment me.....but I don't expect that now.
