Angeli,
I feel for you. I really do. It's only been months for me, and to be honest, it kind of scares me to hear the things you are saying. I don't like to think that I'll have flashbacks in 4 years. And the trust thing. Boy that's a tricky thing, isn't it? You want to trust, you need to trust, but from what I'm hearing you say, I can see your concern. So far, there hasn't been much to test my new found trust in my wife in this short period of time since I found out. I'm trying to rebuild that trust in her. I told her I forgive her, and I really have, but, as you know, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I feel better about her, but there are times my heart just aches, and I'm sure you can understand that.
Communication is a big issue between us, and I think we communicate a lot, we just sometimes missunderstand what the other person has said. Does that make sense? I know my wife OFTEN missinterprets the things I've said and my actions. And I often find it difficult to explain to her how I'm feeling. But, we keep trying.
I hope you find a way to get over this, and when you do, please tell me [Smile] I want to know too.
All the best.