LWB,
I just don't get your H ... he continues his contact with OW, exchanges gifts with her, but doesn't understand why you are pushing for separate accounts? Perhaps OW has brain washed him a bit since she thinks having an open M is acceptable.

And everything is still your fault?? That seems like a psychological defense to me. He's protecting himself -- he's trying to make you look/feel bad so that he isn't the bad guy. Perhaps he's desperate because you've been so strong. Just trying to get at you somehow? Or maybe it's his reaction to all of his guilt.

Enjoy your lunch with Hope tomorrow -- you deserve a good time.

Joie