W called me at 10pm last night. She received the D letter in the mail.
Her: Just wanted to let you know that I got the letter. Me: Ok. Her: It is what it is. Me: Yeah, its sad. Her: I dont want to fight, it is what it is. Me: I dont want to fight either. Her: Ok, I just wanted to call you to let you know I got it. Me: Ok, have a good night.
I bet she feels so relieved because she now views me as the one ending the marriage, her guilt must have been killing her. Now I get to be the bad guy by "leaving" her. SHe needed me to be the one to end it. Nevermind the fact that she is living with OM...
I wonder why she called me at all, whats the point? TO just tell me that she received it? Doesnt make sense... perhaps she's still playing her mind games.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I am so sorry you had to do it and I am sorry for the response you got from her. Not what I would want to hear. However, again as always you dealt with it fantastically.
But remember, whatever happens,, you did it for your D right. You needed to protect her and you at the same time.
She may come to her senses when it has sunk in, you never know. You just have to keep on keeping on.
My WAW changes her mind on being nice and being hurtful towards me all the time. Plays with my head. OM is an a@@hole and xmas is going to suck for me.
I hope you can have the best time possible with your D and hope you are seeing family at xmas.
I will be thinking of you and everyone else on this board and hope we all find some happiness and peace at this difficult time of year.
Thanks guys and gals! I hope you all have a Merry Christmas as well!
The next few days are going to be rough for me, it will be the first time in 15 years that my W and I arent spending it together. Even when we separated 2 years ago, we still spent it together.
W has been calling my mom lately worried that I am going to take our daughter. She should be worried, her recent behaviour is appaling. Part of me is sad that she doesnt ask my mom about me though, its like me divorcing her has no effect on her what so ever. Makes me feel like Im really not important to her after all.
Ive been sad lately and I know I need to let it go, at least for now.
I hope Santa brings everyone something nice this year! Thanks again for all your support, without you guys I have no idea where I'd be.
H4C
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
The next few days are going to be rough for me, it will be the first time in 15 years that my W and I arent spending it together. Even when we separated 2 years ago, we still spent it together.
I know where you are coming from, 19 yrs for me. It is going to be difficult. I will also on get the children for a little while tomorrow. Not being there when they wake up is going to kill me.
But we will survive and have a much better xmas next year.
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W has been calling my mom lately worried that I am going to take our daughter. She should be worried, her recent behaviour is appaling. Part of me is sad that she doesnt ask my mom about me though, its like me divorcing her has no effect on her what so ever. Makes me feel like Im really not important to her after all.
Yep. I know, been there done that. You just have to let it go. It sucks, it's hard. I am better than that and deserve better than what she has become. I have hardened to it more.
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Ive been sad lately and I know I need to let it go, at least for now.
I am sorry for you. I think I had a panic attack yesterday! However, I feel calm today.
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I hope Santa brings everyone something nice this year!
The lottery, something Swedish and blond and something to erase my memory (except for the part about the children).
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Thanks again for all your support, without you guys I have no idea where I'd be.
Hello all... had a good Christmas with my D. We spent the day at my folks house with my brothers family.
It was kind of sad though, this is the first Christmas in 15 years that my W wasnt with us. My daughter told me she was sad that we werent together as a family.
Oddly, I received a text from W:
Hope you have a Merry Christmas and get everything you asked for! Wishing you and your family a blessed holiday season!
Why does she do that? I dont understand. She knows I am filing for divorce and she is with OM. It feels like she is trying to keep me within arms reach as she sees that Im slipping away.
It's so much easier on me when I dont have to speak to her at all, out of sight out of mind.
On the other hand, I still love her and want my family whole again.. the only way to make that happen one day is to communicate with her when she wants to.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! Im praying 2008 will be better for all of us!
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
W called me today to say she signed the papers and dropped them off at my house. She didnt sound too happy so I asked her how she was doing. She told me she was ok considering the circumstances.
I then told her that this sucks and that I still loved her (Ugh). She responded while she was starting to cry, Why do you tell me that? I told her because it was true. She then said tearfully that she had to go.
I still feel like she loves me, having a hard time letting her go. Its like its so much harder when they show they still care.
It would be so much easier to move on if she was acting hateful towards me.
Any advice?
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Oh I am so sorry. She is so messed up. I do think she still loves you. I wonder why she signed them so fast, maybe because she is trying to give you what you want? I just don't know.
Does she know you are going to try to get more time with your daughter, to try and shelter her more from W's behavior?
Hurtin, Something I read in the past came to mind as I read this -- not sure if it was posted or talked about here or elsewhere: emotional divorce. It was about separating your emotions from your marriage. Many WAS have already done that - or have convinced themselves that they have, anyway. (I guess DBers call it detaching.)
But when it comes down to it, you just can't turn off emotions over night. It doesn't matter if you're a LBS or a WAS. I'm sure there are some WAS out there who THINK they can just walk away but they're just fooling themselves. There is pain and fear on both sides. It sounds like your W is going through that.
The end of a relationship is like the death of a loved one. It takes a lot of time to get over it. That person will always be with you in some way or another inside, but you have no choice to move on. You only have control over your emotions...
