If this drives you so nuts, why not divorce and then just live together? That way he will be responsible for his stuff and you for yours? Make sure you go back to your maiden name and make a point of telling people you are NOT married.
I promise you: he is not going to change. That kind of irresponsibility is maddening-- don't get me wrong. My bf is like that and is one of the many reasons I would NEVER marry him. When I met him, he was driving with an expired drivers license and had been for years. Frequently I would go to his house and pick up the phone-- no dial tone-- he "forgot" to pay his bill. The rest of us remember, but for these guys, it's just too much to cope with. HE'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
So what are you going to do?? This irritation and stress are taking their toll on you. You can say "I can't live with this," but clearly you CAN, because that's what you're doing.
What are you going to do for YOU.
It does make you righteous, because you believe that his way is inferior to your way. You get to be superior and right. Just like you assumed that the way your father handed over his paycheck was the correct way. The correct way is whatever you can live with. Because your H handles things in ways not to your liking, you can stay mad and judgmental at him. What if it truly DIDN'T MATTER to you? It wouldn't matter to everyone. (Don't get me wrong, it would to me, too, but then I'm not married to the guy.)
