NikB's latest update (#23)

[NikB]

H - ha, you're funny! Sounds like you had a great holiday, so glad to hear it.

Things are looking ..well.. it's hard to explain. When it's just me and H, things seem to be getting MUCH better. But with his whole family basically now pretending I don't exist (completely ignored me for Christmas for example).. it makes me wonder what's going on. He's been really sweet lately though - even little things like noticing what I'm wearing and complimenting me, helping more w/chores, things like that. When we're "just us" things seem great.

Christmas went very well! Christmas morning we snuggled for awhile in bed, then got up and exchanged stockings. It's something I wasn't sure we'd do until a few days ago and I'm so glad we did. I like "our" time together that morning so much. I put some treats in our dog's stocking and H video taped her burying her head in the stocking as far as possible to get a mouthful of treats. She remembers her stocking even though it's only once a year - she gets SO excited when we put them up, and stares at it every day waiting for "the day" when we finally give it to her.

Anyway H was video taping and laughing and I said "I know, she's cute huh?" He gave me a very sweet look and said "You're both cute!" He gave me some really thoughtful things in my stocking, and liked everything that I got for him as well.

Other gifts from him were some neat accessories for my car, and a beautiful new jacket (no it's not pink! it's tan). He was very excited about the jacket - that was what he's been talking about. He liked my gifts to him also, so that was good. He was kind of upset about the DVD player at first and I couldn't quite figure out why. Later in the night we talked and he thought it was one of those super expensive HD ones and was afraid I'd spent way too much on it - I told him no, it was a nice one but sort of an "in between" regular and HD (it's an "up-converting" one), so he was much happier with it after that. He hooked it up while I was at my dad's for dinner and he LOVES it - excited about how well it works, how the sound system works better now, etc. Pretty cool.

We had a nice brunch w/my friend and my mom, then opened gifts for a bit. Had a really good time! I felt bad because my Mom and I exchanged a LOT of gifts this year (I kept picking up little things I thought she'd like all year and she kinda did the same). So my poor friend was sitting here watching us open gifts for an hour or so.. I said I hoped we didn't bore her to death and she said she actually really misses doing that w/her family so it was nice to be part of the "gift exchange." I had given her and her dog small gifts too so they enjoyed those. My mom also got me a jacket - I must look cold lately!! Perfect though, it's a different style and it's black, so now I have jackets for every occasion. I will be warm this winter!

H had to leave kinda early to go over to SIL's house. He looked guilty when he left. I know he feels bad about how they are treating me right now. Although I am pretty upset about it I didn't act that way, glad I pulled that off. Just told him have fun and say hi for me.

Went over to my dad's for dinner and it was pretty surreal. Stepmom and stepbro spent Christmas Eve there (so they could be there "for Santa" with my sis). They did gifts in the morning and actually all stayed there all day - that surprised me!! So when I got there the whole family was basically there hanging out and had just started watching a movie. It just looked SO normal. Except that stepmom's gifts and such were all bagged up by the front door along w/her clothes and overnight stuff, for when she left.

We watched Hairspray - I'd seen it before and liked it so it was fun to watch again. It's a very upbeat movie! In between we cooked dinner. I could tell Dad was bugging stepmom a bit and managed to redirect him so that was good. She was cooking and he asked if he could help - she asked him to set the table, and he kept asking her weird questions - "should we use a tablecloth or placemats" (reply: "I don't care, use whatever you want") Dad: "Where do we keep the tablecloths?" (reply: "It's your house, I don't know, where DO you keep them?"). From dad's side it was fairly obvious reasons to keep reminding her it was "our" house, "our" stuff, etc. She was getting more and more annoyed and he just kept doing it. I finally went out in the kitchen and found the tableclothes (hey whaddaya know, same drawer they've been in for the last 5 years! who'd have guessed ). Then I took Dad with me in the other room to help set the table. I also kinda whispered to him "If you ask her where you keep the plates I'm going to smack you!" (joking tone, but he got the point). Sometimes I think it's good for me to see my Dad as the "What not to do" WAS example. Seeing it live and in action REALLY drives the DB principles home for me.

Dinner went pretty well. Stepbro's away at college so that gave us a lot to talk about, not too many awkward silences. After that we exchanged gifts and finished the movie. It was so hard when everyone left though. Went from 'happy normal family day' to empty house... sis and stepbro both went to stepmom's. Dad said "This is where it gets bittersweet. I miss her so much. I miss this so much." Broke my heart. I had a hard time leaving but I knew I couldn't stay there too much longer or we'd both start wallowing.. so I helped clean up a bit then went home. I'll call today to make sure he's ok.

So... very long Christmas update!! All went well, I think - better than I even dared to hope for.

Looking forward to a much better 2008, whatever way things go!