Some Personal Thoughts

[bright 2 morro]

RCR.
Thank you for stopping by my thread. You have said a lot here. I know most of this but sometimes I need to be reminded. I get so tired of being beat up on by him. I get so sad because I know that I did nothing to deserve any of this. I am a good person and do still love him (ok the old nice guy).

The phrasing of that last statement shows you are willing or allowing him or the situation to manipulate and control you.
You CAN do anything you choose.
Will you?
Perhaps you WILL choose to stay close for your children.
Perhaps you WILL choose to move for your happiness--which will also benefit your children.

Do what you feel is right and best--regarldess of his arguments. That doesn't mean to tune him out. He may have valid arguments. Consider his points, but you get to choose your actions.

I can see how you can see it this way. The reason I feel stuck is because of the legality of moving and him not allowing it. In order for me to move I need his consent. He will not give it to me because he feels he needs to be near the kids.

I am trying to figure out if a move is something that would be good for me and the kids. I know at this time I would feel so good moving back to my family and old friends. I would not feel so alone. But is is really good for the kids to be away from their Dad? That question ways on me heavily. Because on this board we talk about working on US and doing things for US, that is great and all but I also have 3 young kids I need to consider before any of my happiness. There are certain things I can do for myself and I am doing them. There is a lot I have done for myself over the last several months. But some of the things that will help my happiness may in fact hurt the kids. They are always something to consider. Unlike my H, I can not put myself first in all situations. I can not do everything that makes me happy because someone has to consider the kids happiness.

But I also know that my friends and family would be there for me and support me. When I do not have to deal with my H I do very well for myself. The problems I have are when I have to deal with him and he is mean and nasty and hurtful. I wish I could run away from him and never see him again. I do not like being called names and the names he calls me are not good. Several times I had to ask him to go look the words up in the dictionary.

I need to go but will finish my thoughts later.