You'll be all right, LFL. Just don't camp out permanently in the bus stop, kay?
Lol I hear ya. And seriously, it just makes me so sad to think of things never changing between H and I. It hurts to even think about. I'm sure that's why I am fantasizing/romantacizing the situation with the soldier. What the heck is it? Does it mean anything? Is any of this real? I know the F-ed up enviroment he is in right now is sure real for him. And I know what I'm dealing with in this M is real for me. But what is this thing between us? Just a distraction? Maybe. All I know is that we have to figure out our own sh*t first. But then I think, what is there to figure out? Maybe it's just going to be up to fate. That's how disconnected I feel at this point in terms of my M, my life. But really not in a depressed way, just an "I surrender" way. So, yes, I still sit here at the bus stop. I still sit here with my H and think "is this it?". I still wait and see...is soldier guy going to come home in a body bag? Just from what little I know, there is a good chance he could. It's all so crazy and completely true at the same time. I cannot control anything in my life it seems. And I don't want to anymore. I'm fine just letting fate direct the voyage. I truly hope 2008 brings some goddammm answers though.
