My Story

[mako_man]

We have been seeing a C for 5 months now, mostly individual sessions but we have had 4 sporadic joint sessions. In the joint sessions she has admitted to finally understanding she has a mental illness, but will not go into the any affair details. After each of these joint sessions she refuses to return for weeks then shows up again when she is very depressed. Our C has basically laid out the plan that in joint counseling she must lay EVERYTHING in our past 12 years out on the table no matter how many men, issues, etc. She understands this and is understandably afraid. I have said all along that I know enough, dont need to know anymore certainly if there is no hope of reconciling. The therapist has essentially given up on individual counseling with her and claims I have to be there for there to be any chance of this working. The C does repeatedly tell me she "desperately" loves me and wants the same things I do, but lately she has slipped even further into the abyss. However, there is a planned session on Jan3 for us, apparently the process of laying it out is 'supposed' to begin, not holding my breath and dont even know if I care anymore. I do love her, she can be so incredible on one hand and equally destructive on the other. Its been a tough 12 yrs, DB techniques worked for me during our first seperation but we never got to the heart of these issues before so they still linger. I guess if I could have my wife back, and healthy i would do it in a heartbeat but right now she is cold and predictable.