I'm exhausted but happy. I think this crazy ride is over. I think that only days from now I can finally say "Divorce busted".
Actually I'm sure I can say it now but I'll give it a little time to settle in.
Two days ago during a very trying time, when we were just about to have to deal with a very difficult situation. My wife sat me down and apologized. She apologized for torturing me for so long. She said she finally realized how disrespectful it was for her to not wear her wedding ring. She said she was making no promises but she was going to put her ring back on. After 3 1/2 painful years she put it back on.
Everything has changed now. The part I wanted the most is back. The hand holding, the cuddling up together on the couch. It's all back.
She's in the middle of a nasty cold but it's all good.
I'd write more ut I'm going to go cuddle up on the couch with my wife.
Wow, 3 1/2 years!!?? Glad you 2 have gotten to a good place!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I didn't say anything. At first I thought it was a pretty negative thing to say. But then I realized it was nothing at all. Just a little embarrasment.
She also (at the end of the conversation) "small steps". Which is something we always say and is a recipe for success.
We're both very exhausted. Have had a whole lot going on and things to deal with. "Divorcing" some people out of our life that had to go. But things are very good. I can put my arms around her at any time and she responds. She comes to me for a hug. It's all good. All completely different.
Unfortunately she's sick and I've got a bit of poison oak. But maybe that's a good thing, keep this thing slow.
I don't come to the BBs very often anymore, but I came across this and...WOW! I am really, really happy for you both.
You have worked so hard at this - trying new things, looking at yourself and your own behaviour. I am SO pleased to hear that things are working out for you.
All the best, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
That is so cool you found me. I thought you were long gone from the boards. I have been gone from them myself. But I remember the beginning like it was yesterday. I searched so hard for inspiring posts to keep me going. I really hope I can be of help to others now.
How are things with you?
And where is that BJ? I emailed her but have had no response. Probably off enjoying summer (it is summer there right?)
Hope all is well and it's really great to hear from you.
Things are really good with me. My marriage didn't make it, but I can honestly say that it's a good thing. Looking back, I don't know why I even wanted to stay M - it was not a healthy R, and I'm so much happier now. I do hope to someday meet someone special and remarry, but for now, I'm enjoying being single.
I am not in touch w/ BJ, but I think your guess is probably right on!
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
A strange thing came over me once my wife put her ring back on. A strange realization that not every marriage should be saved. I held so strongly to the idea that everyone must fight in every way possible to save their marriage. In my mind it was only excusable to give up the fight if there was abuse of some sort. But that opinion changed and why I don't know.
I still very strongly believe in fighting for marriage but not in the same way.
Sometimes the other choice might be the right one. Or maybe one is not given a choice at all. I think my wife had her mind very made up at one time.
But anyway that's a really big discussion and one I'm not to into right now.
Today I am into gratitude. Gratitude that my marriage was saved. Gratitude for all on these boards. And lots more.
My wife and I have yet to be intimate. But the rings are on. We just got back last night from a wonderful romantic vacation. Last night she slept in our bed for the first time in years.
And we are working on getting there. While sitting in the hot tub with me she explained that she was still obviously having a hard time with physical contact but that she was trying. She said she knew I was too.
She is trying.
It seems strange that she would have this problem but I have my theories as to why and I am fairly confident I am correct. I am also confident that it is another growth period and a good thing. I think in the end it will have it's rewards.
Merry Christmas! I must say that you have the patience of a stone. Your wife is the luckiest woman in the world as when she does wake up her sexuality she will have the most steadfast man I have witnessed in a long time. Your steps, though at times almost microscopically small through the years, seem to always point forward. I wish you joy in the New Year. May it be the year of your wife's awakening.
Yes a number of people have told me that. I never felt patient though. Stubborness maybe. That's something my Wife and I share in common, pure stubborness. But even that has faded in ways. We're both far more accepting.
This morning we had coffee in bed together for the first time in many years. She started to get up but I insisted she stay. She did, we settled in and enjoyed the morning. Would have liked a little more physical contact but I'll take it.
Something very notable. My wife has broken out with a severe case of eczema. Started around the time she put her ring back on. Huh, uncomfortable with physical contact - eczema. I wonder if there's a connection! Duh.
