#1, They should have had him step down from all positions of leadership.
#2, They counsel, pray and talk with him.
#3, If he refuses to end affair, they admonish/warn him.
#4, If he still refuses, they excommunicate.
And frankly, Olive, it embarrases me that so-called "men of God" don't have the moral courage to challenge your husband and protect you and your daughter. They are supposed to be the fathers of the church.
I suppose he gets to parade his mistress in church once you are divorced?
My W used to speak self-righteously and almost contemptuously of the Baptists and their supposed doctrine of "Once saved, always saved." Whether it is really attributable to the Baptists or not, I think she now wholly embraces that philosophy for herself. She now claims that Grace is extended to everyone regardless of their sins, hers included -- even though she still is committing them.
I guess she figures that God will continue to forgive her sins so long as in the end she accepts Jesus Christ as her savior.
I, however, remember what Paul said in his letter to the Hebrews. In Chapter 10, verses 26 onward, he states that Grace is not a guarantee for those who wantonly continue to sin.
NC, You know what they say...People can somehow change the interpretation of the bible to make it say what they want it to say. Although adultery in the bible is pretty black and white, isn't it?
Your wife as well as many other WAS are taking "God hates sin, but loves a sinner" too far.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I'm a Calvinist so I would agree about all those strong statements about people always being in the grip of grace.
However -- if someone forsakes their faith and/or lives clearly out of accord with the moral law, then the church is obliged to say, "All evidence says you are NOT a believer, for you would have repented given the opportunity." Then they move forward with discipline.
Your wife NoCode (as well as Olive's Husband) must realize that one have cannot Jesus as Savior if he is not also embraced as Lord.
Is he your Lord? Yes or No.
If Yes, then cease and desist from the affair, immediately.
You can't have 50% of Jesus. It's an all or nothing deal.
I agree with Theo. Once saved, always saved. However, if a person is truly saved there will be evidence of that in their life. Not that we don't fall from Grace.. if we didn't we wouldn't need it. A person who is truly saved by Christ has the guidance of the Holy Spirit and won't be at peace until they repent from their sin. I can't see someone who claims to be saved stand up and really believe that their sin is OK just because they have Christ as their Savior. If they're saved there should be a small voice nudging them and creating conviction and guilt. It happens, but God doesn't leave this behavior unchecked for long. I'll admit that I've ignored my sin, but ignoring it doesn't make the conviction go away.. it usually leads to distancing from God and feeling really crappy about myself. After awhile you get to a place where love and joy escapes you and you either turn it around and repent, or remain miserable an open the door to more destruction.
Yep, can't have 50% of Jesus. I remember the day that I realized that Grace is not just a gift we receive to do whatever we want with. The other part of that equation is a willingness to give ourselves to Christ and allow him to work through us to reach others. This is what truly being saved means to me. He wilingly sacrificed for us and we willingly sacrifice our will so that others can see Him in us and accept Him too.
Yes, we all fall short, and we can never repay the debt that was paid for us on the cross.
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
I believe that eventually spiritual dues are paid. There's nothing else I can do for H now. He can only change and repent to save his own soul.
So, it's official... New Years Eve will be H's first overnighter with ow that I've "known" about. Nice... gotta love it.. Detach Detach.. Detach... I told him that this is where it becomes a big problem to live together while going through the D process and we need to start distancing ourselves more and more from each other... unweaving the web that holds us together...
Somewhere during this convo, H got sad and told me how much he still loves me and cares about me. For him, that's what makes this whole thing so hard - that he still has these feelings for me. I just said that because we are divorcing we cannot have a R, even a friendship, any longer; that would be unfair to everyone. How could he disagree?
I feel like I am finally starting to move on emotionally from this mess. My feelings for H are weakening as he continues to act only in his own best interest. I know I deserve better. I know that I deserve to be with someone who loves me 100%, not 50%. I tried. I tried really hard. But, it is over for me now.
