Well Christmas sucked! I went to my mother's on Sunday, spent the day baking. Monday we all went down to my cousin's house (no one else knows what's going on), so everyone was asking where H was, I just said he had to work (not a lie, he was on shift) and they understood. Christmas morning was horrible. I called and left a message just saying Merry Christmas. I got so emotional I had to leave. I got home with just enough time to make the dish I was bringing to my friends house for dinner. While I was getting ready to go H called to wish me Merry Christmas. He asked what I was doing and when I said I was getting ready to go to a friend's, his voice almost sounded like 'oh', like I'm supposed to be home and miserable. He said he was going to make his rounds to the other guys' houses. I told him I had something for him, if he wanted to get togther later, he said by the time he was done with all that running around he was going home to bed because he hadn't slept the night before (I guess they had a lot of calls). I had a nice time at my friend's house, food was good, as well as the company. Got home about 6:00 watched some tv, then went to the local watering hole, had my ego boosted (free beverages, little conversations but nothing further - I am still married). Came back home cuddled on the couch with my dog watched more tv, fell asleep, woke up at 3am with this gnawing feeling to call him, and did obviously no answer (wasn't expecting one) left a message saying I couldn't sleep and was thinking of him (I know against LRT and DB, couldn't help it). I just wanted to see him on Christmas. I miss him so much. If this works out, I will always let him know how much I miss him and care for him.
M 29/H32 M 7yrs/1 dog Bomb 10/18 M in apt 11/13/ H in the house 1st now
