Speaking from experience, I would agree wholeheartedly with the whole "don't-drink-and-DB" thing. I went through the same thing and nearly blew the whole darned thing with my H2B. It only makes for crazy-making. DBing is hard enough as it is; you have to remain vigilant to ensure your behavioral changes stick.
A general rule of thumb Michele puts out there is that it takes about 1 month per year of M/R. I see you've been married for 13 years...add to that the length of your R before you married, and you will see that your process is going to take somewhere around 13 months or more. If the bomb dropped in July, then you are just about a third of the way through. Since you did not discover DB until well after the bomb dropped, then you have to take that into consideration as well.
You are really moving the right direction, so keep up the great work! Remember, you will come out a winner in the end, either way.
It only makes for crazy-making. DBing is hard enough as it is; you have to remain vigilant to ensure your behavioral changes stick. 
