CVA - Have I Done Everything...No!

[Not Much Left]

Hey Puddle!
As you and others seem to be pointing out, I may sound like I'm throwing in the towel despite the fact that I still would like to save my M. I think I have shifted into CVA Protection mode. Something I rarely do...meaning protect my heart from further damgage, date before I know she does, basically be guarded which feels very different to me and not altogether comfortable. As you know, I am a "let the chips fall where they may" kinda guy so...

I spent 14 yrs at work watching every word, every action, its exhausting!

I do like WC, but to be fair to her, I would only complicate her life and mine if things dragged on or changed between W and I so I am backing off, though it is difficult for all the reasons u stated.

Had a very nice weekend with W and the kids, normal irritations with 4 kids and your usual D situation in the near background (whatever that means!) But a lot of smiling on my part and the kids and even W! Gave her a quick hug for xmas, wasn't uncomfortable "needy" just a nice friendly hug. Gave her some gifts from the kids, one of which was a cross necklace which I really thought about based on the advice here. Since her LL is gifts and she has pretty much everything, this was something she wouldn't buy for herself (expensive) but had meaning behind it. Didn't go over so well, she felt uncomfortable I think with me getting her something so nice and her getting me a few shirts (which I really liked). Even though it was "from the kids" she did not take it that way. Just told that was cool, she could take it back if she like or get something else, no biggie. That seemed to put hwr at ease.

They just left for Dallas, on my own, and looking forward to going out w/ Nomo et al tomorrow night...I think I should get a town car...or a hottie (I used to specify age here but with WC around 40 and Sunny, my age bracket has definitely changed!!!) or both!

Thinking about u too Puddle!!!

C