Oh yeah, cold as sharks! My w is a pro at shutting down feelings and just carrying on through any storm. While I do pretty damn good at carrying on, I at least allow myself some leeway and can actually allow myself to feel something once in a while. I know she is the cause of my hurt and it's pretty unfair to expect nurturing from her, but damn it, I needed a hug from someone, someone who I've spent 17 years of my life with! I think it may be OK to show some feeling in this sitch, just maybe once in a while, cuz that way she actually has to face a little piece of what she has done to her family and the man who has been loyal and loving for all those years. My W said yesterday, and you'll love this FLTC, "I just want us to stay family" Whew, how about working on the M then, or giving up your OP...sure, I know, that's water under the bridge but it sure is maddening when they claim to care so much for "family" yet destroy it through their actions. Now it's like I'm the one who will be responsible if I can't hack these joint family occassions any longer! Anyway, I got a good nights sleep last night and today it's me and the kids. I'm gonna try to just turn my mind off and enjoy the day. Last night when I put the kids to bed I said i was tired, it had been a long couple of days and D13 says "I think it's been a great couple of days!" yes, it makes it worthwhile to know you brought a great Christmas to two amazing girls who deserve exactly what they got. To hear that from D13 makes it worth the emotional upheaval. Now, I must look after me.
