Gosh, reading these boards and many other affairs/divorce boards it really is striking the exact same one-liners our spouses/STBX's use. I think I have heard them all, I am gonna post the ones I heard and would like to see others that you have heard, there is a definite "language" that they learn, its like all cheaters are all all sharing the same brain:
"I need space, you are not giving me space"
"I need to breathe"
"I dont feel as though I have done anything wrong, I have never given you a reason NOT to trust me!" - It was this statement that truly revealed her BP to myself and the therapist.
"You always think in Black and White, I want to live in GREY for now. If you ask me RIGHT NOW to make a decision you are going to get BLACK."
"I feel like you are my FATHER, not my husband"
"I want to see changes in YOU"
"I dont want to give you false hope"
"I didnt say I want a divorce but I dont see another way, I am not going back there"
"I have nothing but resentment for you"
"YOU deserve better"
"The kids will be better off"
"We are so much healthier apart" - Since or seperation she has lost her job, is on Seroquel, Klonopin and Effexor. She has already received one eviction notice and has lost 40 lbs, and claims severe depression.
*This is all in a span of a few months I have been told this garbage, what are some one liners you have heard (I have prolly heard them too just have forgotten)
Me: 37, engineer, former Marine Her: 33, HS dropout, retail sales Kids: 3 Daughters 11,9,3 2 Dogs Seperated since Jun07
"I just can't get over the past, I don't think you can change and the changes I see I have a hard time believing they are just not to get me home"
so that leaves me thinking what the heck... I try to change to fix some issues and you criticize the motive of my efforts of course my efforts are for you to be home..... but at the same time my efforts are based on having a revalation of some issues that I had/have that need to be improved for me as well!!!
me:29, H 33 Bomb- 11/06/2006 I came home from work to find that he had moved out into an apartment. next day he says he wants to work on our marriage but will not return until he feels right. kids-4 m-10 years T- 13 years another Bomb-Sept '07 OW confirmed...
Yeah thats a tough one too. When they tell you "I dont think you will ever change", basically my STBX is telling me that she doesnt think I will ever trust her again, and perhaps shes right. BUT, they never seem to see that THEY are the ones that desperately need to change and its been proven over and over its pointless to tell them so. What an exercise in frustation this all is.
Me: 37, engineer, former Marine Her: 33, HS dropout, retail sales Kids: 3 Daughters 11,9,3 2 Dogs Seperated since Jun07
"We have NEVER gotten along with each other. We are like oil and water."
"We should NEVER have gotten married."
"We have NEVER loved each other; it was all a lie."
"Why would I want to go back to that?"
"You were not there for me when I really needed you."
"OP is my soul-mate."
"I have spent most of my life giving to you, my family and everyone else. I have spent all these years denying my own self. It is time I got to be happy. I deserve to be happy for a change."
"This is just a temporary separation. We just need some time to work on things"
After just leaving your bed after some separation sex in which he professed his love and commitment to you he sends the following text a few hours later..." I can't forget the past. I am sorry. You will be happier this way."
Give me more time. I bet I can come up with many more lame statements.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Well yeah - she was fcuking MY husband - no wonder I wasn't smiling!!!!!!! Funny how he has forgotten this now we are back together - that's proof that sanity can re ocurr!!!! Just hang in there guys.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
