Yes, thanks again, Sara. I do see the strings of W's manipulations. I also see what her motives are, whether she is actually conscious of them or not.
I suspect, if I can say that I think I know my W to at least some degree, is that her anger and hostility towards me, her abhorrence of me, all stems from her overriding desire to want to leave me at all cost.
To be more precise, I suspect that W is "saving herself" for the OM, that they have decided to lay low in their A until W can D me. But the strain on W is so great and unbearable, to be deprived of what she, in her mind, believes she is entitled to, that she harbors so much frustration, anger and depression -- and she sees me as the cause for this "suffering".
Basically, I am this evil, horrible obstacle to the bliss she thinks she can have with another person. I am the enemy.
All she can think about now is getting rid of me. She still has to survive another 6 months before she can file, but she is sooo impatient. I fear she is going to get more and more nasty as this progresses -- and I really fear what message this is sending to my 2 S's.
I can't fight this. There is nothing I can do. Part of me wishes she would just get on with her PA so she can just shut up and quit threatening my relationship with our S's. Let her deal with her guilt on her own. Let her stain her own soul if that's what she's so hellbent on doing, but I need to think about my S's now, first and foremost. I cannot save her; it's neither in my role nor in my capacity.
