My H has been repeatedly sh!t on by the church and has many bones to pick with it as an institution but he is a person of great faith. His faith is what keeps him tied to an imperfect institution with imperfect guardians of its tenants. I would no more talk with either of the priests in our church about the lack of sex in our M than I would the next door neighbor. I might consider doing so at another parish but not ours.
No Dom I haven't followed up on your previous advice. There is a reason for that. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted by over six years of prompting, suggesting, trying, demonstrating, asking, yelling about, writing about, receiving counseling and generally overseeing our sex life. It is dead. Dead as any pancake flat kitty in the road. And I didn't do it. I didn't drive the car. I didn't lure kitty across the road. Yes, kitty was 1/2 mine but only 1/2. Even if kitty is only badly wounded then he/she is losing blood quickly. I CANNOT do this by myself as I had been doing. I told you I stopped doing anything about it nearly a year ago - partly anger, partly apathy, partly respect for myself and in a way, for him.
Right now H and I had a very painful discussion about why he cannot bring himself to be appreciative to my parents for their lovely Christmas gifts to him. His reasons? So convoluted I cannot tell you. In short he has an uncomfortable relationship with gift receiving. The things my parents gave him were expensive, not on his list and represent obligation to him. So a beautiful leather jacket, Eddie Bauer slippers and a few odds and ends feel like some kind of bribe or something. They could have spent the same money on the GPS he wants and he would have been fine with it because it is on his list. Anything off his list that is a luxury item feels icky and evil. So....he regards my parent's, who are not the sort of people to hold anything over someone's head, as semi-evil although he can verbalize that he has weird issues over gifts and he acknowledges that he feels tired, emotionally flat and disconnected and then I throw in and "by the way H, we have no sex life, I hate you for it, get a GD woodie and let's go" and then our wayward sex life will get somewhere? I don't think so. Or, I could go the poor me route, "H, you know how much I love sex, how important it is to me, and it has been such a long time and I am feeling so unattractive to you and so unimportant, couldja just lick me all over so that I can be happy and you will feel manipulated." See Dom? He didn't get it when I asked. He didn't get it when I cried. He didn't get it when I yelled. He didn't get it when I asked for a schedule. He didn't get it when I asked for counseling. He didn't get it when I dressed up, dressed down, worked out, made perfect wifey material. What else can I do that can make a difference? I don't think I can do anything. I think it has to come from him.
