Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning pt 2

[phbear316]

Jenny

I hear all that you are saying, but all i was looking for was just a small bread crumb. All the tears last monday night when h told me he was going to fla to me just don't seem real now. I think, no i know he is putting himself first right now, but gee a small crumb. But i guess i expected too much. Shame on me. I am starting to get tired of this emotional cycling cr@#, what about us, the ones who are trying with every ounce of life to put it back together, when do we have a chance to show cycling for our emotions?

I know now, just from something i said last monday, at least we will be together for new years, i did not get an answer from h, so i know he will not be home, he will be with her. If he is home ok so be i , but i have to look at it and prepare myself like h will not be here.

I'm loosing the sight of the positives right now, but we shall see. I don't know if i can back off anymore than i have. I had planned not to be home when h came home thurs but just found out last night h does not have a direct flight home, h is coming home around 11pm. So i will be home, but i think i will be in bed.

Tell me Jenny how was yesterday with the kids? No i did not watch tv last night, I decided to put together a shadow box for H for xmas. As i did it i was beginning to doubt myself as to why i was doing this, giving him this present, but will it mean anything to h?

Bear