Have I waited too long?

[cat11]

Thanks you guys...hope you had a wonderful Christmas day! Lil...I do see counciling as a possibility...I think H would go along. And you're right...there will be many conversations to come. I think that's been part of the problem...I'm not a talker. H is. And I see in hindsight how many times I've shut him down when he tried to talk about it.

Eddie...some good advice...thank you. And you said something I had been thinking at work today. As I said before, I don't think he's going to pack his bags anytime soon. So I think if I let him know up front I'm not expecting him to say "Oh goodie, she's seen the light, things will be better THIS time", but just be open to seeing the changes and allowing me to show him I can back up the words with action, he'll open back up. As you said, what does he have to lose? In the past I've come back at him with all the things I need that he's not giving me (i.e. the emotinal stuff), but I know that only happened over time after he wasn't getting what he needed. So I think to begin this journey there will be no talk of what he can do for me. And your advice about exercise was so great! And very doable. We both belong to a gym...I havn't gone in ages. He goes periodically and used to try to get me to go with him. It would be a great thing for us to do together, and I've read many times how exercise really does make you feel sexier, aside from the obvious physical benifits. That might just be one of the first steps in my action plan! Thanks again. I'm off to read more about setting goals. I think that's something I need to get down on paper right away, then maybe even ask H when I think he's receptive to do the same.