Your BF’s mother seems independent financially, mine was barely able to pay rent and was in debt, so I don’t know why he hangs on except he is financially dependent on his mother.
I wonder what BF do and how he will behave when his mother dies? Will he channel his current energies into his girls or feel free to do something for himself?
I wonder if BF had a good paying job, would he be more independent from his mother?
Good questions, Lou. It's not just that he is financially dependent... I mean, in plenty of wealthy families, the grown children count on their parents' money and don't really have to look for work. Does that create "dependence"? I don't know. The thing is, she has this business-- the bar-- that she has been barely in control of for the last 10 years or so. She's lost lots of money through bad management and employee theft, and the whole thing needs to be tightened up. He's working on that, and it needed to be done if they were to keep the business. It makes plenty of money, even with all the poor management.
I wonder what will happen when she dies. I just can't picture it. There's a lot of stuff going on there that I have no frame of reference for. She has always accepted him, no matter what, been generous with him, always been there for him. My parents were not that way. Is his closeness to her normal filial devotion? is he trying to make up for flunking out of college and getting into drinking and drugs? or does he just love her more than anything else in the world?
Not that one would ever make him "choose," but it would be interesting to see a situation where his mother tried to turn him against his daughters... whom would he choose? Sounds like the plot of a story... may have to think about that.
I called my phone psychic a couple of weeks ago (remember her?) and she told me that I should give this another year and see what happens. (She also told me that if I backed off, there would be someone else for me, initials "KG.") She said the cancer would take her (I didn't ask how soon.) She said 2008 would be a great year for me. It's really interesting how the first ten times I called her (beginning in 2002) she told me to dump him and run for the hills, but the last two times, she has told me to give him another chance. And, Lou, NO I don't take her advice to heart... it's just interesting to see what she has to say. I think she's very very good.
Bf just arrived at the cabin with his mom. I drove over with the dogs to bring him some stuff and in the short time I was there, he already gave me that "what rock did you crawl out from under" reaction to something I said. Weird. I'm back at my house. He said he'd call me when it was time to eat.
