give me some insight into whether I'm overreacting to bf spending every minute with her to the exclusion of me completely? (Also men who are close to their moms.)
My friend that is the younger brother, spent almost all of his time with his mother. He was never M but had a few GF’s. Most left him because he couldn’t commit. Another GF was hung up on her X and that R didn’t work.
BB and I think he is odd, that he spent so much time with his mother and her friends. He is a nice guy but just not into women or really that much into what others are doing. He is good at being almost anyone’s friend for short periods of time. Everyone likes him.
He purposely relates to people on their level. He tells me people are basically more interested in what they do/think so he approaches people based on what interests them and expects the OP not to be all that interested in what he has to say.
My opinion is the guy likes what he likes, has rigid beliefs past a superficial relationship and becomes stressed out when things don’t match what he believes if he was in a LTR with someone.
I was close to my mother but broke away. For me the sense of obligation and knowing my mother would have a difficult time w/o me doing things for her, was something that was difficult for me to overcome.
In a way, I have similar feelings about my R with BB, responsibility is a primary factor in why I do or don’t do things I like or dislike. There is what I want to do and things I think I need to do. The “need” (obligation) wins most of the time.
Back to my mother. When another person came into her life, (man friend) then I let go. That particular R didn’t work out for her but the next one did. That is when I really felt relief form my feeling of obligation or responsibility.
All this took longer than it is common for young adults but I did it and put almost all of my energies into our M.
Your BF’s mother seems independent financially, mine was barely able to pay rent and was in debt, so I don’t know why he hangs on except he is financially dependent on his mother.
I wonder what BF do and how he will behave when his mother dies? Will he channel his current energies into his girls or feel free to do something for himself?
I wonder if BF had a good paying job, would he be more independent from his mother? What I am saying is lack of money the problem or is he overly attached ( for lack of a better term) emotionally to his mother?
Also maybe he thinks he is protecting his mother personally and financially by looking out for her and her money? That is a long shot though.
