I'm a newbie-H is MLC-Lovely!!!

[MrsLBW]

Good Morning all and Merry Christmas.
I was hoping for a great day and of course i was hoping of course for him to come to his senses-like a Christmas miracle. We all hope for that, don't we.

This week i looked at his Visa bill and saw a charge to Victorias Secret. He used to buy things for me there every year. Well, I didn't get anything this year. I guess I know who did.

We had a nice time at his sisters last night. I love his family and they all hugged me as we left last night and each one whispered that they loved me in my ear. They are all thinking what a fool he is and they aren't able to get him to talk to them either.

When we got back here we were up until 2am setting up the new computer for the kids. When it was time to go to bed I asked him if he wanted to come upstairs to our bed he said "No, and I'm not going to debate it."

He has been cool all day. He bought me a bunch of presents-nothing exciting. I bought him about 4 things-but his big present was one of those digital frames that I put pictures on set to music. Mostly pictures of the kids and dog, but also pictures of us together and family vacations. He got tears in his eyes initially and said he really liked it.

No hugs, no kisses, just civility.

I don't think I can live like this anymore. I think after the new year I am going to tell him to get a lawyer. I need to live my live and I don't want to be alone anymore. Someone keeps asking me out and I have said no up to now because I have wanted to keep my marriage and family together. I made a vow. But I don't think i can do this anymore. My first choice has always been him but after today I think I have turned a page....It's so freaking sad! I'm in tears right now. My poor brother just called and I unloaded on him. I will see my whole family this afternoon-luckily I won't have to deal with H for the rest of the day.

Hope everyone elses Christmas is better than mine.