is he too young for MLC?

[WAS32]

Well I have really done it this time. I pushed and he pushed back and now he is gone. It's xmas eve and he went back to his He tells me he's faking it until it's over and I am suppose to just sit back and take it. He's all huggy and lovey and I am suppose to take that [censored]. I'm sorry but this is not okay with me. Don't play with my emotions and expect me to do nothing. He wants his cake and eat it too. I am not that strong. I have tried to be but I just can't do it. Last night we are having sex and today when I told him to do some things with the kids without me he couldn't. He wanted to do it as a family. He wanted to spend the time together.

So when we were putting the presents under the tree and I said you're gonna miss this next year he got mad. He says how do you know I'm gonna miss this? I know, not very good DBing, but I was feeling it so it came out of my mouth. We had a fight and he left. Nothing I can do about it now. He will yhink I ruined xmas and it is all my fault. I get that. But I am only human and can only take so much. So I messed up. But this all started because I snooped. I found some text from a friend of ours that made it look like he is trying to sleep with her and me and I couldn't let it go. I know better. I usually don't snoop but for some reason I did and this is the price I pay for it. I know I am at fault. Sometimes you just gotta know what you are dealing with. And i can't fake it like him. I just dont know how yet.

So I don't know what I am gonna tell the kids in the morning but I guess I willlearn the whole fake it thing real quick. i am such a failure at this . i love him but I just can't be used like this anymore.