I won't throw up a boundary myself until I am certain I care enough and have the strength to maintain it.
Does this mean you don't know what your boundaries ARE when you enter a R, or that you know what they are, but don't have the need to spell them out explicitly until you "care enough and have the strength" etc.?
Maybe I'm misunderstanding this, but it doesn't make sense. For example, my new boundaries are refusal to accept excessive drinking in my partner, rudeness, lack of affection.
So if I start dating a guy and he throws back six beers in two hours, I'm outta there... but (according to what I said) do I tell him that's way or just bolt. Or the first time he's rude and bites my head off for no reason... no longer will I make excuses and put up with it.
I guess I really don't get what you meant by your statement.
