NikB's latest update (#23)

[NikB]

Thanks Trixi!! Wow that's interesting your H would say that too. Mine normally wouldn't in a million years - he's very much the devoted, respectful son and will rarely say anything negative AT ALL about either of his parents. That's why it surprised me so much I think.

SPM's 2x4s helped in that it clarified some things for me I guess you could say. What DO I have? Well, I like the companionship, the snuggles, heck this time of year the warm body in bed.. .. and there are many things I do love very much about my H. But there IS so much more to a really good R, what we have now is not enough. I still think we could MAKE this a great M, but it isn't right now. I need to keep reminding myself of that.. it seems to me that I get to where I am getting the bare minimum from H and I allow it to be enough (and right now I'm not even getting the bare minimum, but as many have reminded me, my actions show that I AM getting enough because I am accepting it). I knew/know all this, SPM's post just got me thinking about it more.

I am giving myself permission to coast for another week and just get through the holidays as best I can without any big shakeups, but in January it will be time for me to take action to make my life better. What? Dunno yet.. maybe finally move into my lovely room.