One of the greatest gifts I learned from DR/DB is to live in the moment. I have, for the most part, stopped blaming the past and worrying about the future. Your post about the good day yesterday shows you are beginning to move in the right direction.
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No R Talk
This is good, but I want to caution you -- the "no R talk" rule is not about just avoiding R talk. It means *you* don't bring it up, and at some point, when you W wants to talk about it, you have to begin to validate. Read then re-read the sections in the book about validation. It will be important for you to be able to do this when it comes up...and it's not a matter of "if", but "when", because it will come up.
"Acting as if" you are happy is not merely about "faking being happy." One of the neat things about "acting as if" is that if you practice it often enough, pretty soon whatever you are "acting as if" about become reality. That's why it is such a useful technique.
Even if you and W separate, all will not be lost, so don't panic. It may still be part of the process. Remind me again how long you two have been together and how long you've been married?
And I echo what others said about D3. She's probably just acting out a bit and needs some special attention. Three year olds really aren't capable of malicious manipulation -- she's just trying to get some needs met. Try some of the DR techniques on her...perhaps your validation, and really listen to what she needs. She knows that something is amiss b/t you two and she's picking up on it.
