Enjoy your vacation Lizzy. All I can say is Thank God for the kids! They are what Christmas is all about anyway...I would hate to think where I'd be right now if not for them.
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My H has let up about it being over as I have eased up on the pushing. H still isn't willing to work on the R, but at least he isn't asking for a big D.
My H still feels the need to shove this down my throat no matter what. Sometimes he's so adamant about it that I think HE is the one he's trying to convince. I wish I could get inside his head!
Hope you have a great weekend away! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
Enjoy your vacation Lizzy. All I can say is Thank God for the kids! They are what Christmas is all about anyway...I would hate to think where I'd be right now if not for them.
Quote:
My H has let up about it being over as I have eased up on the pushing. H still isn't willing to work on the R, but at least he isn't asking for a big D.
My H still feels the need to shove this down my throat no matter what. Sometimes he's so adamant about it that I think HE is the one he's trying to convince. I wish I could get inside his head!
Hope you have a great weekend away! J~
Jenny, I think you hit the bullseye when you said H is trying to convince himself. I think that is what my H is trying to do also whenever he says there is no hope.
Hello everyone! I am back from my family's Christmas. It was a wonderful time. I had a lot of fun. Just one bad moment when my dad wanted to talk and wanted details. Thankful my mom came in on it and saved me. Just not ready to talk about it with him yet. I know he is disappointed although he is being supportive. I actually didn't miss H being there in some ways. In the past he has never wanted to be around my family, so I didn't have to worry about him. What a shame.
Hello everyone! I am back from my family's Christmas. It was a wonderful time. I had a lot of fun. Just one bad moment when my dad wanted to talk and wanted details. Thankful my mom came in on it and saved me. Just not ready to talk about it with him yet. I know he is disappointed although he is being supportive. I actually didn't miss H being there in some ways. In the past he has never wanted to be around my family, so I didn't have to worry about him. What a shame.
Hey Lizzy!!! Glad you had fun with your family. I still haven't talked to my parents about what is going on (they know because they talk to W's parents a lot). Hell, I don't even know how I would explain how things are right now in a way that makes any sense at all
H went to Christmas Mass w/ Ds and myself this afternoon. I made the same thing I make for dinner every Christmas eve. I didn't invite H or ask if he was staying for dinner. He sat down w/ us and ate. D15 wanted to open our gifts to each other tonight but H talked her out of it. H ran an errand then came back for a little bit. I thought he would stay till D10 went to bed but he didn't. He asked what time she wanted him here in the morning and said he would be here then.
I still don't know if H is going to ILs w/ us tomorrow. H did pick up a couple of the gifts for his family and I got the rest. H also called me today while he was at Target to see if I needed anything.
Today H helped me take my coat off in church. Don't know if he did it because he still cares about me or he still cares about appearances. H also found the song in the book for me a couple of times. Noticed that he didn't move his leg away from mine when they were touching. These are making it hard for me to keep my expectations low for tomorrow. I would love to get a hug or a kiss as my Christmas gift. I know that isn't going to happen, so I need to get that fantasy out of my head.
H showed up at 7:30 as D asked to open gifts. It was a really good time and he seemed happy w/ his gifts. I got a very nice purse and wallet from him and Ds. H is pretty sick and laid down for an hour or so while Ds and I played a game.
H told D15 he wasn't going to his aunt's w/ us. Didn't bother to tell me or D10. D10 was very upset as she had been having a great day. She didn't get it because she said we have been getting alone so well. D15 asked him why he wasn't going and he said because he was so sick. Not sure if that was the real reason. H did go to his parents w/ us.
Asked H if he wanted to have his family here for New Years Day as we do that some years. He said it was up to me. I would like more of a response from him as I don't want to do it if we are just pretending to be happy.
H spent the afternoon here while we were gone as far as I know. He cleaned some of his guns. Not sure that is how I would want to spend the day, but then again it might be better than me listening to his brother and his wife. UGH!
H watched a movie w/ us after we got home. Then he stuck around for another hour.
H is taking off the rest of the week. Not sure what I'm to do as I know he wants to spend time w/ the Ds. H really isn't feeling up to doing anything w/ Ds. I guess I'll go shopping tomorrow and see The Kite Runner one day.
I'm starting to think the next few days are going to be worse than Christmas day. H is taking off the rest of the week. This is great as it is not something he has done in the past. However, I think he wants to be w/ the Ds and not me. He really didn't say last night when I asked him. Said he didn't really have anywhere to take them. Don't know if he meant a place of his own or a fun place like museum or such. Hopefully he will be feeling beter today. Well anyway, I'm on vacation and I usually do take the Ds places. Since he is off, I don't take them places now for a couple of reasons. 1 H is sick. 2 he told me early in the S that he doesn't want to do things as a family but he has continued to. C told me I need to stop asking. I don't want him to think I am avoiding him if I leave him alone with Ds. UGH!
Today was a confusing day is I suspected it would be. H was supposed to be here around 10 but didn't here until after 11. I planned to go shopping and run errands so he could spend time w/ the Ds. I was getting ready to leave and he asked where I was going. I could tell from his reaction that he was surprised and I explained that I thought he would want to be alone w/ the Ds. H asked about taking them to lunch but I had already put something in the oven. I said I could take it out. H said it was ok we could do dinner instead. I asked if that included me and he said he thought the Ds would enjoy that.
H called an hour later to say D10 was going somewhere w/ a friend. I went home after a few hours. While I was gone H played board games w/ the Ds. Not something he has done a lot in the past.
After I got home H took a 2 hour nap. Then we took D15 to look at phones and tvs. Pick up other D and went to dinner. Dinner was a good time and we all got along. After we got home the four of us played a game. D10 got upset about not winning but we played again and she won. It was a lot of fun being a family again and spending the time together.
So I have no idea what all of this means. Don't know if H is starting to want to be a family again or not. I mentioned something about H taking Ds to a movie as I have an app. w/ C in the morning. They decided on a movie and time. H told me he sees his C in the afternoon. That is the first app. he has told me about in months. Seems so positive but I'm still trying to keep expectations low.
So I have no idea what all of this means. Don't know if H is starting to want to be a family again or not. I mentioned something about H taking Ds to a movie as I have an app. w/ C in the morning. They decided on a movie and time. H told me he sees his C in the afternoon. That is the first app. he has told me about in months. Seems so positive but I'm still trying to keep expectations low.
He at least wants the feelings that come from being part of a family - Otherwise he'd be off doing something else. It's good that he's talking about his C appts too; Maybe he is taking them more seriously now.
Did your H get you anything for Christmas? I'm curious if he actually involved himself in the whole thing, or if he just played the part for the day.
