Gotcha. Yuck and more yuck. I have come to the conclusion that not only does H not "get me" sexually and he does not want to but I am feeling "controlled" by him. I recognized recently that he so values our roles as parents that he orchestrates our lives so that parenting takes over not only his life but mine also. He is so into the "divide and conquer" style of living that he will literally run around with one child (sometimes necessary, sometimes created errands) or other leaving me to do the same with the remaining child(ren)and then stay up late every night for QT with teenage child(ren) such that we aren't together alone - EVER. I am a good Mom. I am not a slave to my mothering. I am perfectly capable of putting little ones to bed, kissing teenage son on the cheek as he plays guitar hero or watches South Park and taking H to bed early before we are too tired to fcuk his brains out. He cannot do that. Who does that make him? A good Dad. Who does that make me? Irresponsible, disengaged Mother whose behavior must be indirectly dictated by the other (clearly superior) parent. The part that is nice (for most men) about wanting the kind of sex that you and I do is that they do not have to jump through hoops to get it. A man does not need to rub our feet, compliment us, do the dishes and put the kids to bed before laying a hand on us. That is different than it is for many women. Well, the fact is that my husband would do all the things I just named and does frequently. And that is where it stops.... Am I supposed to pick up the sex baton from there??? Who knows??
