CVA - Have I Done Everything...No!

[Not Much Left]

Thanks ST
I guess that is just it...Pride. I really dont have Pride in that respect, I am willing to humble myself, my W on the other hand never has and I suspect never will. I think the last 3 times she "accepted" me back after telling me it was over, was due to outside forces, nothing inside her that ever let go of the Pride factor.

I thought about this stuff yesterday as I thought about the W, WC, and life in 2008 and how different it will be. The main thing I never let go of from 7 yrs ago (the 1st time and consistent with almost everyone's experience of the 7 yr itch problem) was that I constantly felt like *I* was walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well it dropped 3 more times, self fulfilling. I dont know if I will ever be able to totally let go of that which is why I dont know if my W can give me what I want. She always said I made her feel like *she* was walking on eggshells w/ my anger / temper. Point is, I know how it feels and unlikley that we would ever get to a healthy place. I of course am willing to try, always have been. But, when you have given it almost everything you have, it has taken so much out of me, I just want to move forward one way or another. I am certain she feels the same way, the latter, not the "trying" part which is why she filed. She does not want to live this way forever either.

Just today got a card from a friend of mine / hers (the W of the couple we know) who addressed the card to JUST my W and the kids. Some crap on the card about changes etc. Sheezzzzz, that one hit home. W and the kids, a separate entity from CVA, W and the kids.

Oh well, maybe WC will call / email and brighten my spirits a bit.

Merry Christmas all....

C