Okay, let's say you are sitting on a park bench petting your cute little bunny. An attractive man in a leather jacket approaches and he either:
A) Doesn't appear to have a puppy with him. B) Does have a puppy with him. c) Doesn't have a puppy but says "I once had a puppy but it died. Really, I had to kill it because it was so injured. I see you have a bunny. You better keep it away from me because clearly I don't know how to care for vulnerable animals."
Which guy are you more likely to take home to f*ck and feed?
Well of course guy #3. No brainer. Because he says one thing but does another. He's intimate yet mysterious at the same time. Dichotomy. Or maybe I just like a challenge. Or maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. lol But again, I've stated that guy is very f@ckable. Just not worthy of driving me insane in a long term R. For instance, let's say Alpha Soldier Guy was like #3. Clearly I want him bad, but eventually his unwillingness to give me enough puppy would turn me off. I can find a wolf anywhere. No thanks. What about you MJ?
Okay, let's say you are sitting on a park bench petting your cute little bunny. An attractive man in a leather jacket approaches and he either:
A) Doesn't appear to have a puppy with him. B) Does have a puppy with him. c) Doesn't have a puppy but says "I once had a puppy but it died. Really, I had to kill it because it was so injured. I see you have a bunny. You better keep it away from me because clearly I don't know how to care for vulnerable animals."
Which guy are you more likely to take home to f*ck and feed?
Well of course guy #3. No brainer. Because he says one thing but does another. He's intimate yet mysterious at the same time. Dichotomy. Or maybe I just like a challenge. Or maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. lol But again, I've stated that guy is very f@ckable. Just not worthy of driving me insane in a long term R. For instance, let's say Alpha Soldier Guy was like #3. Clearly I want him bad, but eventually his unwillingness to give me enough puppy would turn me off. I can find a wolf anywhere. No thanks. What about you MJ?
LFL
I'd pick number 2. I have a highly evolved sense of self-preservation.
Alpha Soldier Guy annoys me a bit, LFL. I'd let him go. Simply because, at the time it counted, he couldn't bring himself to speak the word "stay". Can't build a life on that word, as you're finding, but can't build anything without it.
Alpha Soldier Guy annoys me a bit, LFL. I'd let him go. Simply because, at the time it counted, he couldn't bring himself to speak the word "stay". Can't build a life on that word, as you're finding, but can't build anything without it.
Well, bringing this back around to Corri's point about honesty. Alpha guy was always honest I think. He told me he was a little hung up on his ex girl-friend and wasn't really ready for a serious R. He also thought I was too soon out of my own M. So why should he say stay if he didn't mean it? I certainly wouldn't want him to lie about something so serious. If he came up to me today and professed his love for me I think I'd be in serious turmoil. I'm still hung up on him (that's obvious) and I think he may be still hung up on me, against his better judgment. Live and learn.
I was mischief-making. SG made a comment to BF along the lines of, "maybe Fs will listen to what you have to say" and I was chuckling about the responses to his own thread were 5-1 F to M, with you being the lone amigo.
There's a difference between getting a woman to listen and getting her to actually consider your position as valid. That was the point I was trying to make, apparently unsuccessfully. We all throw up defenses if someone says something we don't want to hear, and what makes us defensive can be gender-specific to a point.
Blackfoot has an interesting style, as do you, but also one that's quite difficult to read (as do you). I can't read either of your posts in a hurry, because they tend to blur. So anything really long I skip until I actually have some time on my hands, which is not often, and then I try to decipher.
Listening isn't the issue, because I have to listen quite closely if I want to make sense out of what you're saying. But I still don't agree with you. *g*
Alpha Soldier Guy annoys me a bit, LFL. I'd let him go. Simply because, at the time it counted, he couldn't bring himself to speak the word "stay". Can't build a life on that word, as you're finding, but can't build anything without it.
Well, bringing this back around to Corri's point about honesty. Alpha guy was always honest I think. He told me he was a little hung up on his ex girl-friend and wasn't really ready for a serious R. He also thought I was too soon out of my own M. So why should he say stay if he didn't mean it? I certainly wouldn't want him to lie about something so serious. If he came up to me today and professed his love for me I think I'd be in serious turmoil. I'm still hung up on him (that's obvious) and I think he may be still hung up on me, against his better judgment. Live and learn.
LFL
But what is it that you're hung up on LFL? I don't get it.
I'm not saying he should have said "stay" at all if he didn't mean it. I'm saying there's a better than average chance he'd never have said it at all. Yes, he contacted you later and asked if you were single. Probably wouldn't have minded picking up where you left off. That's a long way from a "stay".
Don't underestimate the "stay". Trust me, the men don't. I'm married now because someone said "stay", and I did. One thing you do know about your h is that you are the one he wanted to say it to.
I know SG. You are right. And the thing I am hung up on is my unfulfilled need/want/purpose: to find someone who can love me as good as they f@ck me (to cut right to the chase). You are not in a SSM so you don't understand how painful that is. The sex was just SO easy and SO fulfilling with this guy. I know some people think that is being petty or whatever. But when that is a major piece missing in your M, it becomes monumental. And yes, my H said stay, but he also said go, so that plays a large role in my confusion here as well. I don't want to get into the whole situation with this guy, let's just say he is wanting the door to stay a bit open even though I did shut that door about a year ago when he contacted me and I told everyone here. Let me also just say I am smart enough to know that people probably say things they don't really mean when they are in a war zone (emotions running high and all) and I am not about to toss the M without giving it my all.
Ok, I need to go get my head out of my azz now and get ready for xmas. Hope everyone has a nice holiday.
Hmm...the exercise was meant to show that BF's signaling was in alignment with his current stated relationship goal which is "getting laid." As far as what I am looking for currently, the important detail is that I put a leather jacket on the guy. If he was wearing a Mr. Rogers cardigan it would all vibe different. I can't do cardigan/puppy. Given the leather jacket, I would choose #2 BUT I would be totally f8cking annoyed if the guy acted like the puppy should be making me hot rather than the leather jacket because I know that nobody's getting a hard-on from my apple pies.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Mojo So you don't think it's weird that I hope that he's getting laid now that he's off being self-sufficient at 19?
Mo, I see rinse and repeat in that statement.
Sure, it is exciting for a 19 y.o. boy to have a fulfilling sex life, but look what happened to you.
As you know, I don't like to take risks. Having sex with someone you like and can live with for 50 years is one thing. Do you think your son is that capable and experienced, to pick a suitable life partner?
Teen age boys commonly make 3 big mistakes.
One, they party too much. You know what sort of thing that can lead to.
Two, they buy cars, trucks, and electronic stuff. some guys indebt themselves for 5 to 10 years.
Three, the GF gets knocked up. Sure he likes her but are they each ready to take on parenthood. Is the woman your 19 yr. old son wants for the next 40 years? Is he the man she wants for 40/60 years.
I am not saying no partying, no things, or no GF/sex but him just being on his own, why don’t you let this good sex thing take some time. I think it will do him lots of good to be on his own and unencumbered for 5 years.
I am not all party-pooper but know ship happens and don’t like to see people messing up their lives so early.
LFL to BF? But why would he listen to a little soft bunny like me...… Yea, right :eye roll: LFL a little soft bunny?????? Maybe some time!
No, LFL I see you as being able to mix it up with the best of them. I do think you have a soft bunny in there that needs it’s share of tending. I also see the more direct, honest, and female pirate that wants to mix it up and play hard.
You said OM was wolf and puppy (vigorous sex and cuddling too) That is how I see you, which seems normal to me.
