I have been following your sitch' as well, and I know how depressing it must be to want to be able to provide for your loved ones, but lack the means to do so properly, especially at this time of year. I have a job and yet I find it much more difficult than in years past due to the strain on our finances this separation is having. And while I do know what it is like to be without viable income during Christmas (I was laid off right after 9-11 in 2001) my W was at least helping us make our ends meet. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have all of this at once, and my heart goes out to you.
I pray that you find the job you need, and that you gain what you need to get yourself where you need to be in your life. I pray that you will regain the footing you need to take care of your children and give them the father they need. I know you can do it -- I hear your heart in your words, and that you have found your priorities. You are your children's father, no matter what. And likewise we are God's children -- He will never give up on us. Please always remember that and you will be fine.
