Waiting for WAW to come back, patience is a virtue

[DaveJ]

I know...the things they do just seems so illogical and it's frustrating.

I'm taking bets that potential OM would pop right back as soon as the D is final. It would certainly get around his Christian morals by then.... I would told that she has never felt anything like that when first meeting someone. Not her previous R, not with me. Supposedly this guy feels the same way. He thought he was just looking for friends, didn't expect that.... *roll eyes* He is such a great guy bla bla bla, and he loves kids etc etc. Of course he has never been married and has no experience with kids. He tells her she's irresistible to him and that she's amazing. Hook, line, sinker. Just the thing to tell someone who has low self esteem and blames her H entirely for putting her at that point. I'm so scared for my kids and yet there's nothing I can do about it....

On a side note, I was also told by W that when initially we got married and she asked me if she can continue to contact xBF, I should've said absolutely no (and supposedly she would've been ok with that). But later I when I did it, she felt I'm going back on what I said and refuse to do that any longer. What a bunch of BS! I guess nice guys do get screwed! I thought I was being nice since she claimed he's just a very good friend and no more. I trusted her! She never really got over him even though he cheated on her. So guess what? I was the rebound guy that end up marrying her.

So yes....I have a lot of anger, bitterness, frustration that's rolling through me right now. I really want to just go off on her. But what good does that do? And afterall, I'm the bad guy in this marriage. It doesn't matter what she did. Oh yeah, she also proclaimed she has no issues and there's nothing to fix. Seriously makes me wondering what our R would be like if she wants to come back.... She feels that potential OM would be supportive of her and then she would be happy and get through all her issues. Talk about a disaster waiting to happen.... How can she just jump into something else just like that when the D papers hasn't even been filed yet. If it wasn't for the guy backing away (ATM) she would've jumped head in. My S is already going through all this stuff with us breaking up, he doesn't need some new guy coming into his life and making him even more confused.... That's why they suggest you wait a year or two before doing that for the sake of the kids! *sigh*

And yes, I'm still very conflicted. I like being married. I like having someone in my life. And yes I'm feeling very lonely. I'm sure it will just get worse while watching her being with someone else. I'm not the type of person that can just casually date around. It does absolutely nothing for me. I miss the deep emotional connection. If I'm going to do something I put my heart in it. That means if I move on, I'm moving on and I'm going to be looking for somebody to be with. At the same time, if the mother of my children wants to come back, how can I say no? I'll end up hurting someone. And for the sake of my kids I fear I would drop everything and take my W back.