Have you thought much about why the same pattern keeps appearing, why your resolve crumbles? Is it the comfort of intimacy that makes you hope that what is happening isn't really happening? What can you do to change things? A 180 like that may get through to your H.
I bolded 'crumb' because that's all I am getting. I just thought it was funny that crumb was in the word you used.
Anyhoo- my resolve vaporates because I do SO wish this situation wasn't what it is. I am VERY attracted to him and he can play me like a fiddle. We're good at flirting. I know he loves me (and I really do KNOW he loves me) and at the moment I give in, I just want to be close to him. I want to believe that "this time" isn't "last time" we're together, and if I start to turn him down, then maybe the last time we were together really WILL be the LAST time we were together. Ugh, I don't even know if that made any sense.
Apparently I haven't come to terms with the situation. I just can't fathom that he won't be in my life (romantically). I feel like I am losing my mind. I can be crying my eyes out one minute and the next minute be completely calm because I know he'll be back and this is my chance to focus on myself and really blossom.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
