Need advice on prognosis of R - opinions?

[Jen1967]

My H moved out late September. He immediately went to L the same day to start separation papers and headed over to his OW house. Since then he has repeatedly said it's over, but within last 4 weeks seems interested in talking about his needs and what we would do differently "if"...

He switched the papers over to rough draft D papers in late October because of a huge blowout argument we had. But my L wrote letter back to his L saying "bring it on" and haven't heard anything since from his L. Ball is in their court.

Also when I ask if there's any hope, he says none. But he has been saying things like, "You look really good lately... Why are you so social lately? Why couldn't you be like that when I was home? You seem happy."

I found out his "errands" he needed to run this weekend and the reason he can't see the kids (and didn't call them at all) is that he took OW to NYC for the holidays. I also found out he scheduled trip to Yellowstone in Feb with OW. His lease at apartment is up in March.

At what time do you let all hope die? Is there any hope here? Is it time for him to start taking the kids to his apartment every other weekend instead of coming to the house to see them 4 times a week (which kills me, because he sees me too and I get "false" hope.)? In other words, is it time for me to give the last last resort technique? No comm except about kids. I'm scared to cut off potential progress of late. His words are sometimes slightly hopeful, but his actions say he's got plans that don't include me.

BTW, He is coming over here XMAS eve and sleeping in guest BR to be here XMAS for when kids wake up. I am so mad about trips with OW, but I can't confront because he'll know I have access to tracking what he's doing and my L said don't let him know I know because he'll go more secretive,plus if it goes to a D it's best to have info you can surprise them with in court. If it wasn't for the kids I'd tell him to forget XMAS eve.

I am afraid to mess up the potential of reconciling, but if he's already made up his mind and has committed to her, then I'm wasting my time. Why would he be stringing me along? Is there a reason anyone can think of other than he's confused? Is there a selfish reason he could be stringing me along that isn't hopeful for me at all? Does it sound like he's serious about her? This is like the most hideous game of chess.
Help!!! Need advice!!!