Long and Bumpy Road 2be continued...

[Startingover2]

I did hear from him quite a bit yesterday. Most of the texts I either didn't respond to or gave short answers. I could tell that he was drinking by the way he would ask the same question over and over. Today I haven't heard a thing.

It got me thinking. This is the same pattern we have followed now for over a year. Life is back to what it was when we were separated and getting our D, pre pregnancy. Not one thing has changed. He calls when he is lonely or feels like it, comes around (if I let him) and then disappears into the sunset. It made me realize that I was in false R for sure. He never really had any intentions to repair our M or get back together. Sure he came around more because of the pregnancy but now looking back he was still adamant about how "slow" we were going to go and how he still loved his free time. Duh. Stupid me. He was telling me then that he really didn't want to come back. He was just dangling a carrot and throwing me crumbs so he could cake eat. How could I be so stupid? He is back to being the fun party guy with no attachments. The only thing that has changed is I am now pregnant with his child. How perfect for him.

Rather down at the moment. I have kept pretty busy this weekend but its been all with my teenagers. Been fun, but they don't want thier pregnant mom hanging out with them all the time. I am uncomfortable hanging out with my married friends my age as I am the only one unmarried now I am the only one with a baby on the way. Everyone else has older kids and I hate to see the looks on their faces without telling me "i told you so". I had such high hopes in the beginning of this pregnancy that things would change and my friends and family were skeptical. They were right and I was so wrong.

When will I get it?