Input, WH and I own business together

[grid, lost]

Have another question for you Wise micoms. Now H is being friendlier have a lot of people ask me if I am giving him a Christmas gift this year. Have been saying no, since he is still wOW and has not offered C.
I have (2yrs) a 30D digital camera and do not use. The body is to large for my hands and heavy, don't care for it. H convinced me to purch. as only camera with 5 frames per sec. Which I wanted like my film camera. Should have returned and knew it at time. After everyone ask about Christmas gift, I could send it to him. H has been really good in doing without any $$$ for himself and sending all up here for expenses.
To tell the truth I have been considering giving him the body. Not as a Christmas gift, maybe after holidays.
What are your thoughts? Should I box it up and send it to him or wait till after holidays?
Do not want to pressure H. Do not want to play along with A & OW. Guess if I send it one never really knows what the other person will think. I just know H would really love to have body. He has even mentioned several times if had money he would pay me for it.
Wise Mike and anyone else reading my post certainly appreciate your thoughts.

[micoms]

Grid,

I don't usually show my emotions that much, especially around the guys. My voice quivered when thanking some of them. Both sons tend to be like me. Older son works on autos like I did when I was younger, in fact our first mechanic jobs were at the same place only 25yrs difference. He's now at a Chevrolet dealership.
Younger son just took test to enter the elevator trade (what i do). People say they look like me, especially S25, we're built the same. S26 is 6" 165lbs, S25 is 6'2" 240lbs. As a senior in high school he was 235 and one of the fastest on the team.


I don't know if I'd consider myself wise, LOL. My sitch hasn't changed, no contact with W since T-day she still wants D.
As far as the camera, If you want to give it to him, do but not as a Christmas gift. I think I would give it to him the next time you see him. If you want to get him a Christmas gift get him something, but don't send it to his house. Don't want to be the cause of a rift between him and OW. That will happen on its own, don't try to accelerate it, it might backfire on you.

Went to S26's house to watch football. He's still bitter about his Mom. I tried to tell him it's something she's going through. Asked him if she wasn't acting like herself and was diagnosed as bi-polar would you feel the same. He said if he doesn't hear from her this week he won't go to Christmas Eve. I ran into my BIL at drug store, getting prescriptions and ingredients for blue power. I whished him Merry Christmas and said I don't know if I'm invited over this year. He said talk to W. Walgreens doesn't dispense boric acid and doesn't carry the gentian violet solution, need to go to independent pharmacy to get those.

Went shopping with D19 to get her a dress for a formal party. a couple of times when she was in dressing room, I got teared up thinking about my sitch. I don't need her in my life, but I want to share my life with her. I can see how it could be, but she is unwilling to give me the chance. I didn't read DB or DR until after we came back from vaca and she didn't move back home.

Mike

[grid, lost]

My voice quivered when thanking some of them.

A guy with a heart who is respected by friends and family, that is really nice Mike.

240lbs. As a senior in high school he was 235 and one of the fastest on the team.

WOW, big kid in high school !!!! Fastest on soccer team is that what you are ref.??? Say my H use to be in auto business. Down around NYC, became service mgt., took care of DEA guys cars and West Point officers, they all drove sabbs (sp). Tons of jewish suregeons cars, well car wife drove. So funny wife would bang up fender bender, they would come in crying, Stevie please fix car for H sees tonight. My H would fix car, big tips !
Ask your son the nicknames for cars these days. ie; we use to call sabb, a slobs, Ford Thunder Bird became a Thunder Chicken, lol they had some really funny nick names.

I don't know if I'd consider myself wise, LOL. My sitch hasn't changed, no contact with W since T-day she still wants D.

Say, Mike I mentioned in prior post insurance co sending me to shrink about meds, etc. and the guy was so impressed with me and reading Michele's work AND then offered up another book to read with H sitting right there in room. Dr. suggested I check into, book for just the spouse who wants to save M even when S does not.
Title: "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together"
Author: Susan Page
I just picked up from library can't even give you any thoughts. Book has mix reviews on internet Hey everything is worth a try, right??

As far as the camera, If you want to give it to him, do but not as a Christmas gift. I think I would give it to him the next time you see him. If you want to get him a Christmas gift get him something, but don't send it to his house. Don't want to be the cause of a rift between him and OW. That will happen on its own, don't try to accelerate it, it might backfire on you.

Here you go, being wisdom and wise, honest ! You see things more ????? mmmm rational. LOL wonder why that is?

Went to S26's house to watch football. He's still bitter about his Mom. I tried to tell him it's something she's going through. Asked him if she wasn't acting like herself and was diagnosed as bi-polar would you feel the same.

Gee this is really sad to read. Honest I feel for your son. Growing up, my brother was always ill and my mom spent nearly all her free energy on him. So to be rejected by your own mom really does hurt. Could he relate to the bi-polar? You have a nice way of talking with your kids. Talks like one with S26 will carry him through the rest of his life. He'll look back and say, what would dad do, what would he say and the best answer will come. That is something solid to lock onto in a storm.

He said if he doesn't hear from her this week he won't go to Christmas Eve.

Maybe this is the year for you and S26 to start a new C. eve tradition.

I don't know if I'm invited over this year. He said talk to W.

Ouch, that was cold. Besure and don't tell S26 about BIL meeting in pharm.
yep have to obtain all chemicals from a "real Pharmacy" lol.

she was in dressing room, I got teared up thinking about my sitch. I don't need her in my life, but I want to share my life with her

.
Do I hear a bit of "daddie's little girl is growing up"?
I use to tell H same thing, I just want to share my life with you. Can make it quite well on my own. Now it's use to be able to make it on my own. Disablity sucks. Got a recruiting letter from a Co. moving in to our area. In field I love, considering sending a resume or inquire on P/T. Not sure.

didn't read DB or DR until after we came back from vaca and she didn't move back home.

Seems tobe about 98% of us.
I have posted way to much here for one night.
later,
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

S25 was always big, when he & S26 were younger people thought they were twins, they were 13mos apart. When the got to teenage years everyone thought S25 was older brother. S26's senior year he was 6' and 130lbs, S25 was junior 6'2" and 230lbs. Both were jealous of each others bodies, S26 wanted his brothers size, S25 wanted to be slim and have the six pack hS26 had. I got into reffing soccer because they wanted to ref, I knew they would be put in the younger age kids games, 6-10 year olds. The worst group because parents and coaches don't know the rules yet.

I've already told W she needs to talk to him. When she went over his house last she was with me at the house before T-Day, told her I was getting ready to leave for S26's house. Told her to come along, she said she wasn't invited, had to take D25 to her house. I called S to call her and invite her over, thats the only reason she went. If she hadn't have gone the last time she saw her granddaughter was in July for her first birthday. I don't know what's going to happen with their R.

My tearing up wasn't due to D19 growing up, but the sitch with W & I. I had a talk with her a couple of weeks ago, when she was 16 she ran away with her BF who was 21. We filed restraining orders against him. We found out she was telling people that I was sexually and physically abusing her. That nearly killed me. When she got away from him it affected how I was with her. When I talked to her a couple of weeks ago, I her about what she had said and how I held her away from me. I told her I forgave her, knew he probably told her to say it, and that I appreciated how she was taking care of me after surgery. That I wanted to get that off of my chest and have the relationship with her We had before she met the weasel. I cried , she cried and we are much closer again. I was her soccer coach from 6yrsold to 12 years old, I didn't have anything left I could teach them. Soccer was nearly year round, had the months of June & July off. So we were really close until she met the weasel.

I'm reading the 5LL's, I might get that one next, looked it up on Amazon found it for $2.40 plus $3.99 shipping. Gotta go D19 came home tonight. She's been staying at D25's house, she's watching GS while D25 works.

Mike

[micoms]

Grid,

Haven't heard from you in a few days. I had a good day today. Babysat GS at D25's house while D and BF went shopping.Had a great time playing with him. I'd lay on the floor , he'd climb over me run around to the other side and climb over again. Every few times he'd hug me and kiss my ear. Played cars with him and kicked the soccer ball also. D has already asked if I'll coach him in soccer when he's old enough. I fixed their toilet, leak on washing machine, and leak under kitchen sink.

W came home while I was there. I was happy, upbeat and in a great mood. Told her she looked nice, did she do something to her hair? She was friendly and outgoing, not going to read too much into that. Asked if I was invited to Christmas Eve at her sisters house, yes if I wanted to come. Of course she fell asleep while I was there. D19 was singing with GS as loud as she could, W didn't wake up.

Told her kids are coming to the house except S26 and she's invited too. Also said I'm going to make a turkey dinner New Years Day, all the kids will be there and invited her also. Also said after I get back to work all the kids are coming to the house and I'm going to make "Dads world famous pizza", thats what the kids called my pizza when they were young. Their high school friends who had some of it said I should open a pizza joint, it was the best they ever had.

Had to leave for a Christmas party, told W it was so good to see her and I'd like to take her out for dinner after I'm back to work, she agreed. I'm not going to try and read too much into that either. I'd like to talk to her about seeing a C, don't know if I should. Got an article out of readers digest, guy wrote in his W works and comes home and sleeps. Sounds familiar, Doc wrote she needs to see a therapist she is depressed.

Have you heard from H? Are you getting him a gift? I got W a digital picture frame, I'm going to load it with school pics of the kids thru the years, vaca pics, family and grandkids pics. hopefully she might see that all the times weren't bad.

Mike

[grid, lost]

[

W came home while I was there. I was happy, upbeat and in a great mood. Told her she looked nice, did she do something to her hair? She was friendly and outgoing, not going to read too much into that. Asked if I was invited to Christmas Eve at her sisters house, yes if I wanted to come. Of course she fell asleep while I was there. D19 was singing with GS as loud as she could, W didn't wake up

.

Hey, Mike sounds as if you had a Great Time with you GC, that is so nice to hear. Kids give us hope and lift our spirits so high and you certainly need lifting. lol
W sounds as if she maybe having different thoughts about what is going down. Hope so. She sounds very tired and depressed too. Depressed I can relate to, lol. See holidays are going to work out ok for you. Maybe your wife will stop by for turkey and I were you, I'd would go to IL on Christmas Eve. Even if for a few minutes. the holiday joy and happiness lets one forget the present if only for a hour or two. Go and have Christmas cheer with everyone. I love good pizza. Is your's NY style or mid west style? I'm more the NY spicie style myself.

Had to leave for a Christmas party, told W it was so good to see her and I'd like to take her out for dinner after I'm back to work, she agreed. I'm not going to try and read too much into that either. I'd like to talk to her about seeing a C, don't know if I should. Got an article out of readers digest, guy wrote in his W works and comes home and sleeps. Sounds familiar, Doc wrote she needs to see a therapist she is depressed.

dinner with you is a good sign. This will give wife a chance to see you are "different" not changed. She needs to see a different person than the one she left or at least that is how I see it. I fear your wife is very depressed as I've said before, unless you have been there you can't really understand. Worse yet the person depressed doesn't realize how out of touch they are. Can't understand why W keeps with such a strange work hours if she really doesn't have to.??? Just doesn't make a lot of sense but then MLC never does. Take her to dinner and let her just enjoy the evening. Might try selecting three or four places to eat and ask her which one she prefers.
Seeing a C???? Way I see most people react is they assume C is going to judge them. Rather should be more C is helping each see better ways to solve problems. As I read in one book, like two people being on a seesaw, no matter what takes place if one party moves it affects the other and this is sorta marriage. Not a matter of is the move right or wrong it is about our moves affect the other person. C should help us see how and realize people see everything differently. think about it, IE: my family was very involved in politics, grew up in the public eye. So for me, actions around others is very important and should be handled a certain way. Well H didn't grow up in such a household so we have conflict! My H grew up always trying to keep his mother happy, as if he is responsible for this. Well then if I am having a bad day, he thinks it is him. This drives me crazy!! then back to my family, surprises around anyone other than within family is not good (public life) so sitting with a C and have H bring up unknown is unnerving to me. Am I any help. ?? Back to your W, Might try asking her if she thought you should try MC to better understand her hurt????? Maybe then if conversation goes well could ask if she would come after a bit or would care to join you. I wouldn't just come out and ask her if she would try MC I think she would run and feel judged. IMO

Have you heard from H? Are you getting him a gift? I got W a digital picture frame, I'm going to load it with school pics of the kids thru the years, vaca pics, family and grandkids pics. hopefully she might see that all the times weren't bad.

LOL, I couldn't figure out what you were ref. the digital pic. frame, other than digital pics. Well in store and there is a digital pic. frame. lol Quite nice and i am sure she will enjoy.
Mike [/quote]

[grid, lost]

Grid,

Have you heard from H?

ROFL, Mike this is so sick it is now funny!
Let me back up a bit. Our B&W cat has been going into kidney failure. He really needed IV fluids underskin nearly daily. All just to much for me. Cat is not in pain or suffering. Well of course in time he doesn't eat and last 48 hrs hadn't ate. So I go through hell and have to take him to vet to be euthanize. ON The Way to Vet, H calls. Of course upset with cat (nice to me) finally H ask can't anything be done? Have him call vet, etc. As I pull into vet parking lot H wants cat if vet can try to pull him together and H will take over care. So of course by now I am crying like a crazy fool. The staff at vet clinic even gave me hugs! I sign forms for cat to be euthanized tell them have dr. look at cat, etc. and call H. Then it is between dr. and H, I'll see clinic is paid. Of course vets hate to put an animal down if there is anything can be done. so keep cat in ICU over night, force feed, fluids and H drives up next day for cat. I Help H with cat, give him a dog crate to use to keep cat confined as needed.

Mike imagine this I am standing in parking lot still crying, a mess, H knows I could sure use a hug and he gets in his car, drives away. Just writing about it is depressing. So H drives away with my cat never to see again, I am a mess, vet clinic hands me a bill for $340. !!!!!! IS something Wrong with this Picture???? ROFL

[grid, lost]

B & W cat, well after all the trauma, I guess cat is doing ok. Sorta likes living in an apartment where he is the only cat.
I have been depressed ever since. Funny for some reasoon I just get back on my feet, see H and then become depressed for days.
In a way, I feel D would be best.
forgot to mention H said he is trying to get his hands on Michele's book. ok.
So what is new in your life???
Keep the faith.
it is pouring rain here and I must go out. YIKES

grid, lost

[grid, lost]

oops, forgot to mention.
At last I have caught up with a gold smith we used in jewelry business and am having my wedding band resized.
I refuse to take off my band as long as we are married. Several friends of mine had noticed I wasn't wearing it and ask. Told them all, I have it off because has to be resized.
WOW didn't realize how ill I was when we "offically" married!!!
I look like skin and bone in our pictures.
Are you still wearing your ban and does your W still wear her's?? Read on one post if you take your band off then your quitting on M and not committed to M. Not sure I agree with that strong a judgement but I do agree should keep it on.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid, Yes I still wear my wedding ring, sometimes I wear it on my right hand. Middle and baby fingers on left hand are numb almost all the time since surgery, sometimes they're more numb than others. Doc says it's normal, will go away 3 to 6 mos after surgery. W has noticed but hasn't said anything.

Sorry to hear about your cat, although it's good to know it's not being euthanized, still it's like losing a family member even if H took him. Why didn't H pay vet bill since he took cat? When H left vet parking lot maybe he didn't know what to do, he could have thought giving you a hug would be leading you on? I know I would probably read more into a hug initiated by W than what she meant by it.

I don't know if S26 is going to his aunts house, W still hasn't talked to him in over 2 months. I don't know if I should stay home and have him and his family over or go to SIL house. If I stay at home and have him over I'm sure W will think I made him come over, and I'm making him hate her, she doesn't see how she is treating him. The last time she talked to him was to get her oil changed He is an auto mechanic for a Chevy dealership, he changes her oil for free.

I don't know why W has kept her job with screwed up hours either. I never told her to quit, thought that would be too controlling. But in our area $10/hr jobs are a dime a dozen. I think one reason might be she may have been seeing a married co-worker. Easier to see someone on the side if you get weekdays off to spend together when your spouses are working. She got upset twice and said she was going to quit, I encouraged her to do so. I think both times she had a spat with who she was seeing and wanted to quit because it was awkward to work around someone that you were seeing. The last time she was going to quit was when we went on vaca together end of Aug. she was going to give 2 weeks notice upon our return. I suspect OM was upset she was going out of town for 9 days with me and they had a fight. 2 days before we were coming back, she got a voice mail or text and went cold as ice. She was supposed to move back home after vaca but decided to stay S when we returned home.

My pizza,LOL. I make my own sauce and crust. My sauce is indeed spicy, I put garlic, fennel seed, oregano, anise, and crushed tomatoes together and boil it down into a sauce. Make my own sausage also. When kids were in high school, their friends would ask them if dad was making pizza this weekend. D25's friends all called W & I mom and dad.

If I go SIL house, I will remain in a upbeat and positive mood. I feel bad for S26, I don't know what to tell him.

Mike