Lisa - He's really not in a good mental state right now. Don't get suckered into responding to his spewage, or arguing with him about things. Much of what he says about YOU is actually projection of what he feels about HIMSELF.
Let's face it - right now he's either mentally ill and/or on drugs and/or in another affair. Do what you need to do to protect yourself financially, be calm and clear and keep to the high road when you speak with him. Let go of the rope. For the next week, focus on having a nice Christmas with your kids. Visit family or friends, go out for a drive or a walk to look at Xmas lights, bake cookies, sing carols, make popcorn chains, watch Xmas movies. Don't let your H's craziness ruin Xmas for you and your kids.
After Xmas, you can start thinking about what your future plans will be. Frankly, your H might well return again. BUT - I think you have to start thinking of him as a very unreliable source of income and support. He sounds crazy enough that it's entirely possible he'll end up unemployed or drug addicted or a suicide. I think you'd best be starting to think about how to create an independent financial future for yourself; one in which you would be okay even if he stopped paying support.
Don't let him rob you and your kids of a nice Xmas. Let go of him for now.
