I'm a newbie-H is MLC-Lovely!!!

[MrsLBW]

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He has a hard time just enjoying life-everything has to be a chore.

{ Was he like this before his father took ill? Also, I was curious when you said he tried so hard to save his father for 11 months. Did you have a sense for that dynamic? It seems more than just going to the hospital to be there for his father. My father was in nursing care for a few years. We knew his state of health and visited him, but we didn't pour our whole existence into him.}

Imp-
He has always been a pessimist. Like I said, it has been a struggle all of these years to keep a balance-I have been walking on egg shells for years. But I got use to it. The good outweighed the bad. He is the jokester at parties and we have had a lot of great times. But I see parts of his personality that no one else sees. Some people have seen certain aspects of it. He ALWAYS complains about whatever job he has. He makes a good living but is never happy.

As far as what went on with his father-I think it all stems from his mothers death 10 years ago. She went into the hospital for soomething minor. His sister went to sit with her on Monday night, he figured he would sit with her Tuesday night-well, she died unexpectedly Tuesday morning and he felt guilty for not seeing her the night before. Forget about all that he had done for her over the years-he coudn't get over that he wasn't there for her that one night. So, when his Dad got sick he went overboard. EVERY DAY he went to see him and spent hours with him-took him to physical therapy, fed him, changed him, you name it. He could have won an award for son of the year. But he was pulling away from me at the same time. I think this is when he began this EA with the woman from work.

NOW-here is the latest in my saga: I have to work on New Years Eve day. I asked him to take the kids overnight Sunday into Monday so that I don't have to get a babysitter. (He is doing it tonight for the same reason). This was a test because I know that the OW's birthday is Sunday. When I asked him last week he said "sure". Tonight he left me a message on my answering machine that he can't do it because he has something else to do that night!!!! Do I confront him that I know it's her birthday and that he has chosen her over his kids? If I did, I would wait until after Christmas. What do you guys think?
Thanks.