Need to ask about the "Fog" of people in affairs

[GainingStrength]

Choc and Michael - I agree. When my W was away from the OM, she would briefly come out of the fog and return to the W and mother I knew. Then, when she saw him again, she would dive back in and again become callous, cruel and willing to do anything to keep that drug high. These WAS's are true drug addicts, except their drugs are internally-induced brain chemicals (e.g. dopamine etc.).

Then, they build up a support system of people who will validate them, new memories of good times with the OP, and altered memories of how "bad" it was with their spouses. My W filed for divorce, went on trips with the OM, got engaged, is converting to Catholicism (his religion), and has detailed plans to get married in May. She also plans to reverse her tubal ligation so she can have children with him (he's never been married). She also has the same attitude that anyone hurt by this should just "get over it." They are so sweet.

Eventually, the drugs wear off and they come out of the fog. By then, it's often too late because too much damage has been done.