I am so sad- I am just blah- went to church with the kids- then took them back to my mom's I just can't let them see me falling apart.
H did call but to tell me he wasn't sure he wanted a divorce <---All about him..... but that "I" would have to do alot of changing i.e. not being so distrusting of him <---All about him Imean after all the man has only had 3 affairs in the last 2 years- I mean really- why should I doubt- which is funny b/c just a few weeks ago he was saying how in lovethen I heard once again the ILYBNILWY speech <---All about him with me he was, i try to confront him and he says he is in control of his life <---all about him and I need to get mine together- can you believe that? he then tells me he is hanging up and I won't be hearing from him again until he is good and ready to talk to me. <----Again about himWHAT IN THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THEIR MINDS?
Love,Lisa
See how he project it about him in all he talks about? Nothing about how are you or the kids. Just by you wanting or willing to talk to him strokes his ego. Makes his head bigger. Thinks your going to beg. Please try a week without speaking. Get started on your plan. I know it hurts and its hard not to want to talk to him to see what is in his head. To see why he left and not coming back.
I always thought about my ex if I were severly hurt or physically disabled, would he be there for me. Guess what my answer was? NOPE....He cared only of himself and alway ran when the going got rough so how would I trust that he would be there at my weakest point? Think about yours. Would he for you?
And how do you feel by him judging you now telling you that you need to change? Yes, Lisa, you do by getting stronger as an individual without rescuing someone that doesn't care. And after you not being there he will run to his parents or whomever to get them to take care of him. Remember he doesn't have a job so someone has to. He isn't at his weakest point yet. And is just rubbing it in your face cause he knows your sad and disappointed. Time to get happy and love yourself. Think positive and positive things will happen.
Let him think about how it will be like without you there. Truly if you had to talk to him just about the kids and that should be all. You don't have to talk about you both. Do what you need to to and he will get the idea your serious. Take back the control and don't give it away to someone that can't do it on his own moreless for a family of 7.
