I think the whole kid thing is natural. My kids are driving me nuts. They don't want to listen and they just keep pushing. On the flip side of that i also think that my patience level is at half. They just seem to know that they can get away with more than normal. It's got to be the most trying time of year as it is and then add a break up on top of it...this is really hard. You are in my thoughts. I wishyou a Merry Christmas. keep trying to smile and be happy for you. I know you can do it.
{{{{{{mrarow}}}}}}}
Me:32 H: 34 T: 12 YEARS M: ALMOST 5 S: 8 D: 4 S: 14 (OTHER R) SEPERATED: 03/09/07 (but wanted to work on it) NEW SEPERATION: 27/11/07 (doesn't know what he wants) MOVED HOME 12/01/08 I'm acting as if this blue sky is never going to rain down on me....Sara Evans
Thanks WAS32! You have a merry Christmas too!! I am bummed after last night as she rolled in at 230 am no calls or text to me all night and no goodnight kiss or care about me or my feelings. I know its not about me but it just seems so one sided right now. I am going to go clean the house so its nice when she wakes. I hope today and tonight turn out ok but it is snowing very heavy now and we may not get to the Christmas party dinner tonight if this keeps up.
Married 13 years Me: 43 W: 39 D-19 D-18 D-13 S-25
Wake me up Bomb: July 1 2007
Wife Ring off: Jan 8 2008
-Time Is my Friend? -Put your Trust in God! -Pray lots! <------<<<
Well merry Christmas this just keeps getting worse for our R! W and I talked over coffee and she made it clear that she has decided that she wants to move out and get legal separation in the New Year. How am I going to keep it together when every time we talk she takes something else away and Destroys more of my heart and hope for our Family to remain together. I am devastated and think tonight is going to be ruff to be in good sprits. Help Please........
Married 13 years Me: 43 W: 39 D-19 D-18 D-13 S-25
Wake me up Bomb: July 1 2007
Wife Ring off: Jan 8 2008
-Time Is my Friend? -Put your Trust in God! -Pray lots! <------<<<
Well i think you are in a tough sitch today. I'm not very good at faking being happy when i am not but I know you have to try really hard. This is not easy at all. But maybe if she moves out you will have a chance to focus on you. It won't be easy but then you won't have to see the immediate rejection she is giving you. It will be easier to know there will be no good nights or kisses because she just won't be there. I know it sounds terrible and I am sure you are having a horrible day but try to find a small positive in this. You need to get stronger and you can't with her there in your face. Give the seperation a little time and make sure she does it all by herself. She wants out, let her do it alone. I have read on a lot of posts here that people are referring to the WAS/WAW as ALIENS. Picture her as one and maybe you can smile a little.
{{{{{{{{{mrarow}}}}}}}}}
Me:32 H: 34 T: 12 YEARS M: ALMOST 5 S: 8 D: 4 S: 14 (OTHER R) SEPERATED: 03/09/07 (but wanted to work on it) NEW SEPERATION: 27/11/07 (doesn't know what he wants) MOVED HOME 12/01/08 I'm acting as if this blue sky is never going to rain down on me....Sara Evans
I am pretty new here, but after reading through your thread. I see a lot of the same in us. I am not very comfortable with my W not having any physical contact. What I would give for a kiss, or heck even a hug or a brush of my arm at this point. I am early in my situation and take inspiration from everyone here that has been working on their situation for many months if not years now. I will make sure and check back in to see how things are going. One story I can share is a friend of mine was divorced for over 4 years. For some reason his W finally realized she made a mistake, they are back together, remarried, and have been together for about 5 years now. If he can wait 4 years to fix things we can wait also. Hope that helps a little.
M: 30 W: 29 D: 4 S: 2 M: 7 years Dropped bomb: 11/26/07 My sitch
Well I did pretty good! Kept my Cool! I faked being happy so well that we only had one incident all night over a song that came on the radio that makes her think of OM. D-1 told me she listens to it all the time on her new CD and thinks of OM when it plays. I turned it off and I told her D-1 had said that and said How much I hated the OM and was going to never be happy if she is ever with him and that I was going to hurt him if I ever find them together. Oops guess that's not very smart!!! Any way told her later I was very sorry for being so selfish about my feelings and for bringing up the song and OM in the first place. The rest of night went good and used the DB principles to a tee. I think I my be starting to finally get a grip on this fake happy stuff around W. Not easy but just tiring to be a best friend and shift topics quick if R talk comes up to positive talk about other things or have been getting side tracked away from her before she can hit me with the stuff that hurts. Worked very well last night. W will be gone most of day with friends again today. My hang out tonight but told her not to worried if we don't get together and she want to just be with her friend again. That's hard to as I think they just tell her to be happy and not worry about me or the kids or tiring to keep this marriage together. That's tuff to think about and I try not to do it but its there all the time in the back of my mind. I love her so much!! She has hinted I my be in her bed Christmas Eve and having a little fun!! Now that's something to think about but Man I don't want to be let down again so tiring not to dwell on it. Venting Thanks for listening and Advice!!
Married 13 years Me: 43 W: 39 D-19 D-18 D-13 S-25
Wake me up Bomb: July 1 2007
Wife Ring off: Jan 8 2008
-Time Is my Friend? -Put your Trust in God! -Pray lots! <------<<<
Hang in There!! Sorry you are here but there are some very great threads to learn from on this Form. I am slowly getting the hang of this but its very hard at times and easy to slip up. There is always Hope and thats what I need to keep going. It sounds like you and I will be in this for the long haul and not give up easy if at all!! Good luck and Merry Christmas Need2Change.
Married 13 years Me: 43 W: 39 D-19 D-18 D-13 S-25
Wake me up Bomb: July 1 2007
Wife Ring off: Jan 8 2008
-Time Is my Friend? -Put your Trust in God! -Pray lots! <------<<<
Had great Morning! Cleaned Kitchen and tided up from the kids the night before. Worked out and listened to some great music! Sat with W and had coffee and some good conversation, No R Talk and we also rapped the rest of Christmas presents together. She wants to go shopping together tonight to get all the food for the big Christmas dinner we are going to put on for the Family. I will be helping as much as I can as promised. I never used to help much at these dinners and family events in the past. Had great morning and Evening with D-3 as well, she has been very affectionate. That is so nice right now. She has left for the day to pick up girlfriends to talk and hang out. I even got a goodbye kiss and then asked to back that up if I could give her a nice hug and did, telling her to have asuper day with her friends and to take her time, just keep me posted if she changes plans about us getting the food tonight. I sent her off pretending to being very happy and positive. Seems to be getting easier but I still broke down and cried a bit once she was gone.....missing her but feeling hope and have got it together quickly writing all the positive down on here!
Married 13 years Me: 43 W: 39 D-19 D-18 D-13 S-25
Wake me up Bomb: July 1 2007
Wife Ring off: Jan 8 2008
-Time Is my Friend? -Put your Trust in God! -Pray lots! <------<<<
I’m with you mrarow...we have similar sitches....I find being just friends so hard...detach with love is the hard part...the more I do it the more SLOW progress i see........try not to create worst case scenarios in your head about where WAW is & who she is with...its hurtful behavior...thought stopping is a great tool. .practice it...I find constant thought correction is needed...when we think of all we have & not what we don’t have we can find peace...this is not our normal way of doing things & that’s why we have to practice it.....wish I could be more helpful...all the best to you
why im here http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1247860&page=1#Post1247860 me 47 w 44 m 20 s 18 s 14 s 8 bomb dropped 10/8/07
One story I can share is a friend of mine was divorced for over 4 years. For some reason his W finally realized she made a mistake, they are back together, remarried, and have been together for about 5 years now. If he can wait 4 years to fix things we can wait also. Hope that helps a little.
Was he waiting though, or did he just get on with his life and they just happened to both be in a position to start over when she changed her mind? I can't imagine most people would wait for 4 years for someone else - That's really pushing it.
I wonder how many people who divorce reconsider their choice after a while and realize that their ex-spouse is long gone?
