First post

[mrarow]

Well I did pretty good! Kept my Cool! I faked being happy so well that we only had one incident all night over a song that came on the radio that makes her think of OM. D-1 told me she listens to it all the time on her new CD and thinks of OM when it plays. I turned it off and I told her D-1 had said that and said How much I hated the OM and was going to never be happy if she is ever with him and that I was going to hurt him if I ever find them together. Oops guess that's not very smart!!! Any way told her later I was very sorry for being so selfish about my feelings and for bringing up the song and OM in the first place. The rest of night went good and used the DB principles to a tee. I think I my be starting to finally get a grip on this fake happy stuff around W. Not easy but just tiring to be a best friend and shift topics quick if R talk comes up to positive talk about other things or have been getting side tracked away from her before she can hit me with the stuff that hurts. Worked very well last night. W will be gone most of day with friends again today. My hang out tonight but told her not to worried if we don't get together and she want to just be with her friend again. That's hard to as I think they just tell her to be happy and not worry about me or the kids or tiring to keep this marriage together. That's tuff to think about and I try not to do it but its there all the time in the back of my mind. I love her so much!! She has hinted I my be in her bed Christmas Eve and having a little fun!! Now that's something to think about but Man I don't want to be let down again so tiring not to dwell on it. Venting Thanks for listening and Advice!!