We have actaully spent a lot of time together the past couple of days. Things have actually been comfortable. More comfortable than I ever thought possible at one time. I have not brought up R one time because I am too afraid of him freaking out if I bring it up. I guess I need to let him do it on his timeline. I still need to have patience. He is willing to go to counseling so I guess I can save my questions for that time.
I did find that as we were out some this weekend he would bring things up. I just didn't respond too much, just let him talk. He even brought up OW a little. He still swears to this day there was never a PA...not sure how to believe him on that as he was and actually still is living with her. It was/is an EA at the very least. He has never acknowledged that it was an inappropriate relationship. I don't think they are on good terms right now.
I am going to spend Christmas with his family and I am hoping it triggers good memories for him. We went apartment hunting for him this weekend and he could be moving here as soon as next week. I am not ready for us to live together yet. I still feel I need to guard my heart. I am not positive he knows what he wants yet. I guess that is just part of taking it slow and he will have to earn back my trust over time.
Does anyone ever decide that even after standing for so long they can't forgive or let go? I am not sure how he can earn my trust back other than with time and being an open book with me. I think he would have to prove to me through phone records/emails that there is no contact with OW...although then I feel like he would just get sneakier. I am just not sure how I will ever completely trust him again. Thanks for the responses.
