Merry Christmas to you too, g24g, and everyone else reading this!

We have a roof over our heads, food in our kitchens, we're pretty sure that no one will drop a bomb on our children tomorrow and most of us are pretty healthy, I'm guessing. For those of us in the western world, these seem like pretty basic things to be thankful for, but for the majority of the world's population, it's a dream they'll never attain.

We all have struggles and heartache too, but I see a lot of dignity and strength in the people here. It sucks, but I think we can all say that we're better for it too.

g24g, about the possible girlfriend - if you find solid evidence that your H is involved with someone, what will that mean to you? If you are absolutely certain that you will end your M and walk away without looking back, then perhaps you should continue looking until you find out one way or the other. If, though, like most of us who have realized the importance of our M, you would likely be willing to look away if you thought it would eventually blow over, you're only hurting yourself by continuing to look and think about it.

I guess I have the 'advantage' of knowing that my H has cheated on me many, many times in the last 6 years and most of the time I didn't know. I knew our M was in trouble and looking back I am pretty sure I can pinpoint when it started, but the first time I knew for sure about an EA, I was so shocked! My point is that all of these 'relationships' ended eventually and it was a lot less painful from my point of view when I didn't know about it.

Try to live your life and leave his to him. Separate bank accounts sound like a good idea - I'm working on getting that arranged, too.

I am not prepared to continue into the future tolerating affairs and looking the other way, but my only goal at this point (after looking after myself, of course \:\) is a commitment to our M from both of us, including a commitment to address the infidelity/internet addiction issue.