So H and I were watching tv last night and the topic of sexual fantasies came up. After the show, we went up to bed and I decided this was a good opening to discuss our own fantasies again. I asked him "do you have any fantasies you haven't felt comfortable telling me?". He said no, of course, and then just launched into how he thinks about "vanilla" type scenarios - that was his word - and said he just likes to think about giving me oral. That really turns him on. I said, that's what you think about when you masturbate? He said yes. Ok, I'm not going to argue that one. I know he really likes it so it's probably true. He also said he wished I gave him more blowjobs. That was kind of surprising because he never asks for them. Ok. Then he asked me "what are your fantasies?" At first I just said, you know already. And he said, oh yeah, the aggressive/domination stuff, that's not really a fantasy, just a preference." I said that's true, but it's really about what gets a person sexually turned on and that's what I like. He said flat out it was a "Huge turn off" for him and it was just never going to happen. Instead of arguing that, I just said I think our problem is that we are both submissives. He totally agreed and said "yeah, I like it when you are assertive with me and you like that too. That's the problem I guess." I said "Yep"....then we proceeded to pick up our books and read before bed like we always do. laugh/cry
laugh/cry